Blood and Kiss
by parkourmaster07
Summary: Hachimen Roppi is committing suicide, but every time he did so there was someone who saved him from his own death, could Tsukishima always save Roppi or it will be to late before the past devour the raven and became completely lost. Summary sucks, so better read.
1. Chapter 1: Prologue

**_hey guys uh it's my fiction for DRRR.. hope you review and support me! I decided to post all the chapters that i already worked on so updates will be soon enjoy!_**

prolouge

Blood.  
blood is all I can see.  
blood was everywhere , it doesn't freak me out like normal people do, infact I am amazed at the wonderful sight before me, it's so red . I've seen blood before not once not twice, almost every day and mind you not just small drops of it, it was a pool of blood and to be exact it was my own blood. It doesn't bother me actually I like to see them drain out of me since that is the thing I want to happen. What's the point of cutting my own wrist if I don't intend to die?  
I stared at the pool of blood, I am currently sitting in the cold tiles of the bathroom in my dormitory, I know anytime I might die, my visions started to blur and dizziness is starting to kick in.  
_I'm going to die… finally..  
_that I accepted my fate and slowly closed my eyes to embrace death, I can feel the death coming to envelop and devour me in this darkness, yet…yet there is always …always a creature that prolong my reunion with death.. This pure creature that kept me dragging away from that dark gate and I hate it.  
_I hate him._

"Ro-Roppi-san!" a worried voice swept through my ears and apparently my senses came back in recognition of such voice, tilting my head there I saw at the door a blonde boy who had a worried expression, yes just worried, not fear I guess his used to it. I remembered the horror crossed his face when he saw me in the same position as of now before. But this blond…This innocent blond kept on saving me.  
Always..  
Always..  
Always saving me, that's why I hate him.  
I looked at the door the said blond rushed over to my aid kneeling beside me, not minding his white scarf being soaked with my blond as he wrapped it around my wrist. Adjusting his glasses the blond helped me stood up and carried me –princess style- and rushed straight to my bed placing me softly, he fumbled on his phone.  
"H-hello..R-roppi-san is…" he nods before answering "o-okay" he dropped the phone and looked down at me, predicting who he called it must be Shinra it's always him, my cousin Izaya.. Is a friend of that weird doctor, A sigh escaped from the blonde's lips as he frowned.  
"Why? W-why do you keep d-doing it Roppi-san?" the worry in his voice was visible, I looked at him but then I whip my head to opposite direction, I can't tolerate to see such face, so innocent and full of life, I closed his eyes feeling my consciousness drift and ignored him. Yes that is what I always do ignore him, ignore my roommate,and ignore the person beside me.  
_ignore Heiwajima Tsukishima._


	2. Chapter 2: Dead Blossoms

Chapter 1 dead blossom

"he did it again.." I heard a faint voice as I start to gain my conciseness but I still kept my eyes shut as I listen to the conversation in the room. I don't even know how many minutes or hours it has been since I passed out, not like I care since I don't want to wake up anymore so I kept my eyes close and listened to their conversation. From what I heard earlier it sounded like Izaya, _tch this guy really_… I don't dislike Izaya it's just that our opinions and perspective doesn't match, to state it clearer we are the exact opposite, like how he loves humans is how I despise them, like how much he loves his life is how I hate it to the extent, or like how he think so high about himself is how I look down on myself.  
"I'm glad that Tsuki-chan found him..always in the right time" he chirped happily and without Looking at him I know he was grinning it was already in the tone of his voice.  
" I patched him already and the bleeding already stopped thankfully the wound is not too deep" another voice went through my ears and from hearing it I could sense it was Shinra, he was the always one who treats this wounds that I don't even wanted to be treated. Really humans make decision to other person without even asking him if it was fine, one thing about humans they are selfish!.  
"I'm glad Tsuki –chan is here to watch out for Roppi-chan, if it weren't for him Roppi-chan must be already in the coffin now~" the bastard started to talk again and for sure he won't stop until no one stop him and unfortunately no one can.. but that was before because Shizuo now is the only person who could shut him up.  
"I-It's not a b-big deal really" yes that stuttering I really know very well whose voice that belongs to.  
"aww~ Tsuki-chan is all flustered and shy!"  
I opened my eyes a bit to take a look at what Izaya was saying and indeed Tsuki was flustered, his face decorated of small pink dust and dipping his mouth further in the scarf, seriously I can't stand the innocence in his face!. At that thought I closed my eyes back again and listened as the footsteps in the room disappeared. Looks like they all left, so by hearing nothing in the room I opened my eyes and looked around to see a pair of crimson orbs staring at me.

"R-Roppi-san?! Are you alright?" he asked in such a worried voice that could draw me into his charm but I dismissed it and ignored him, turned around and faced the wall so my back is facing him I ignored him. Ignoring his crimson orbs that always mesmerize me it was like a blood.  
So red and deep that you might drown into it.  
"Please a-answer me" he spoke slowly again and this time it's pure torture he was leaning so close to me that his hair was brushing at my neck and his breath was on my ear it tickles and I was still irritated at him, irritated for saving me AGAIN always and always,_why do this guy have to appear every time I commit my dramatic suicide!_ Sure he got lost in finding the classroom or the rest of the room in his subjects but why do he always find me? Find me when im dying? Can he be sometimes get lost. I really hate him! At that I clenched and whip my head to his direction to yell and curse at him, but instead I was being silence as our lips brushed for mere seconds before he retort back. I forgot how close he was and I practically mentally slap myself at that stupidity of mine. I looked at the blond and noticed a bright blush on his face. _How dare he blush like that!_ Grabbing the pillow which is the nearest thing I could grab, I threw it straight to his face hard enough to knock him off his feet since he was also clumsy.  
"You idiot! How dare you save my life like that! Can't you understand that I cut my wrist because I want to die! "I screamed at his face practically sitting up. He on the other hand stared at me with..with that stupid eyes of his.  
"b-but why? Don't you like living? People will be sad if you d-die i—"  
I cut him again with another of my rage.  
"You don't know anything Tsuki! So shut up! And don't bother me!" I glared angrily at him before pulling his scarf off enough to suffocate him,  
"I really hate you for prolonging my life and I really want to kill you. And I'm not afraid to do it, I already stabbed Psyche near to death, pushed Izaya off a building and I'm not good enough to do the same to you!" I squeezed the scarf harder and I earned a gasp from him. But nothing else, unlike before Psyche's scream and Izaya's growl when he grabbed a hold of the steel bar, but when I looked at the blonde's face he was smiling at me and did nothing, I know Tsuki is strong he may not be able to show it but it's on his blood and yet he did nothing to save his life which made me wonder. Normally you would fight for your life, fight for the person taking it. At realization I slowly let go of the scarf and I heard him gasp for air and coughs.  
"I-is Roppi-san satisfied now?"  
the question made me stiff_. What? Did he intend to be hurt? Just to make me satisfy with my anger?  
_"you idiot! Why did you not fight back?!" I yelled angrily at him as I saw him stood up dusting his clothes.  
"Because I-I want you to let your anger out t-they say it's better that way" he smiled and grabbed his white mailbag and headed to the door but before he left, but he also left me a brainstorming question.

_**'why did roppi-san h-hesitate to kill me?'**_

"Why?.. Why did I?" I asked myself and starts thinking. When I stabbed Psyche I felt no pity on him I was so mad that I grabbed the nearest thing which happen to be the knife and drive it straight to his stomach and clearly, I did not feel pity in Tsuki's situation I really intended to kill him but I hesitated. Why?  
Was it the look in his face?  
I saw no pain; I saw no suffering it was acceptance. And his eyes were gleaming. _tch! I need a break!  
_  
its already late and dark I left the dormitory after that head banging question the blond left me, right now I'm in the park sitting on the old and abandoned bench near a dead cherry blossom tree, this place is very good I like it, it's dark lonely and abandoned like me so I really do fit in the picture . Taking a deep breath I slung my parka jacket over my shoulder, it was like Izaya's but the trim was red, red like blood. I was previously lying and I was getting tired of it so I sat up and hugged my knees to my shoulder looking up. Then I started to think. Why do I hate Tsuki so much? Was it because he always saved me? Or maybe because… im jealous  
im jealous because he was so alive, he maybe clumsy but he always shine, he may be shy but he always smile. People talk to him and smile at him. They treat him so well.  
My thoughts were shaken when I heard a laughter and group of boys on the other bench.  
"Come on! Just give us money and we will leave you"  
"yes, you seemed to be a good boy so why not share?"  
tsk! This is why I hate humans! They think so high of themselves to bully someone who is weaker than them, I stood up and stared at them until I noticed something, the bully was sitting on the bench looking up at them as he hands him the money until familiarity of blond locks reached my brain.  
"Tsukishima?!"


	3. Chapter 3: Dripping Thoughts

Chapter 2 dripping thoughts.

I narrowed my sight as I approached them closer actually I have no intention to help but it seems my feet moved on its own as it made its way to them.  
"That's a good boy now" one of those filthy creature ruffles the blond locks petted him like a dog. And the blond just allowed THAT! He allowed it!  
"hey! Tsukishima!" I yelled at him and crossed my arms "the hell you doing here?" I asked and approached him sending glares at the two idiots.  
"R-R-Roppi-san" he whimpered and blinked as a smile crossed his face.  
"And you two the hell you're doing with him? Huh? Imbeciles like you should get a life!" I scowled. They chuckled and just left but I grabbed one of the boy's right wrist and twisted it. "Give the money back you moron"  
"the fuck! I don't have any!" he squirmed in my grasp, one of them tried to punch me but I drew out a blade, Izaya's blade I stole it from him months ago. "Move or die I promise I won't hesitate" I warned him and twisted the other's wrist harder making him let out a groan of pain.  
"fuck! Here!" he fished the money and threw it on the floor as his other companion ran away.  
"hah! So you want me to pick it up from the dirt? No! You pick it up.. You dropped it you get it, besides dirt is where you belong anyway!" i commanded making him kneel and pressing the blade in his neck.  
"Roppi-san it's f-fine you don't h-have too—"  
"shut up tsuki!"  
The man below me growled and picked up the money and handed it to me before rushing off leaving a death threat. "You'll pay for that!"  
"tch!" I rolled my eyes and pocketed the knife again; looking back at the blond I harshly shove the money in his hand. "Here! Next time don't allow yourself to be treated like that! You and I know you could give them a nice trip of sightseeing in the sky by throwing them. You had strength why not use it?" I scowled and sighed. I know the answer he will just smile at me and say  
'because it doesn't seem to fit my personality'  
but then his answer left me speechless.  
"b-because I don't want to be blinded by the range" he shoved the money back to his wallet and looked up at me as he continued to speak. "Shizuo-nii told me so, t-to avoid using it as much as I c-could and I guess he is right n-no one really knows I had these strength a-aside Roppi-san" he smiled at me and I just stood there listening , _he.. he's telling me these things? _He's opening up to me when I almost kill him earlier, as my mind starts to make another brain storming thinking I shrugged and turned around.  
"Like I care" I rolled my eyes and starts to walk away I can't bear all this talk I just want to rest and lie down on my bed. This day brought to much exhaustion, I want my bed I need it at that thought I start to walk faster but I stopped dead on my track as I felt a tug on my jacket sleeve.  
"What?!" I snarled and he shrunk in his scarf dipping his face further a blush visible on his features as he starts to talk.  
"I-I..i don't k-know the way back c-can I come with you?"  
_oh that's why_. I sighed and rubbed my temples, as if there is something I could do. "fine " I blinked and starts to walk, him in tow . the rest of the walk is silent and it's deafening though I like it if I were with other people but being with Tsuki is a bit awkward. I dismissed that thought as we arrived at the dorm, taking the key and unlocking the room I went inside first and threw my jacket at my bed. The room is small two beds facing each other and one bathroom at first it's fine by me, my roommates doesn't even last about three days so Im used being alone until last two months ago that Izaya found someone who is hard to pester and so good for his own accord that I have to put up with. Gah! Tsuki is mumbling something nonsense and it's messing with my brain ugh! My mind is to messy to think straight now, the hesitation of my actions, why do I feel jealous on tsuki and why he is starting to open himself to me which is rare since he really is a shy type of person tsk! I need to refresh it! I need a shower! Grabbing my towel I headed to the bathroom and opened the door mumbling incoherent things fixing my gaze at the floor I proceeded to lock the door but sigh in frustration I forgot that it was broken making an irritated sigh I whipped my head round.  
"ahh.. a nice sho…w…e..r…" my voice trailed off all colours drained into my face as I fixed my gaze in the shower . There stood Tsuki his hand supporting his body on the wall, his other hand was pushing back his wet blond locks water dripping on his naked body now I recalled what he said earlier. 'i-im going to get a shower Roppi-san…R-roppi-san? Ok..'  
_Shit! Move Roppi move damn it! Move before he notice you_! I mentally scolded myself but my feet did not move it was glued on the floor as I stared at him my eyes wander at his perfect shaped body, swallowing a lump I felt my cheeks heat up. He looked up at the shower with closed eyes mouth slightly agape as a sigh escaped from his lips and with that I flared out of that place. Leaning on the doorframe I started to calm my breathing thank goodness the blond was facing the wall and was to daze to realize and notice my grand entrance . _Such a sight such a body shit! What am I thinking , I sounded like a pervert_. Unluckily my thoughts were interrupted by his voice.  
"R-roppi-san? I heard the door slammed are y-you out there?"  
"hah! Uh! Y..yeah! just hurry up will you!"  
"uh.. okay im coming –o-out " and with that said he opened the door and went out fully cloth in his pyjamas adjusting his glasses with the towel on his head and looked at me. "it's your turn"  
"I freaking know that!" I went straight to the bathroom not fixing any gaze at him because I know up until now my cheeks are flashing red at Tsuki's mental image. I shook my head and start to shower .  
after the process of shower and brushing my teeth I proceeded to my bed and noticed that the blond was already asleep shrugging I took a quick look at him before slipping in the bed and allowed sleep to take over me.


	4. Chapter 4: Letter from the past

Chapter3 : a letter from past

My senses suddenly picked something up, a voice kept on calling my name, and I slowly opened my eyes and saw crimson..  
crimson?  
"R-Roppi-san? i..it's already seven w-we will be late.."  
"Tsuki?" I asked still a bit sleepy as I stared at his face, suddenly the realization of what I saw last night gotten in my brain in a matter of seconds then it hit me.  
"TSUKI!?" I snapped and sat up immediately that made my and his forehead contact at my sudden outburst, cursing at the pain I lay back again rubbing my forehead, the blond did the same standing up as he winced and groan.  
"t-that hurts….a-are you okay? "  
"yeah.." I sat up lazily and took a deep breath, why do I kept on thinking about what I saw? What's worst is I was even dreaming about it! Oh what am I doing with my life? And I could even tell that now my cheeks are heating up, the hell im blusing for?  
"s-sorry to wake you up r-roppi-san but you are moaning in your sleep i-I was worried maybe you are having a night mare." He said as he fidgeted the ends of his shirt but a faint blush was visible on his cheeks. And wait! Di he just said I moaned? I moaned? This is seriously not good. But that dream was ..it's not that kind of dream and I .. Through confusion I suddenly asked a question .  
"w..what kind of moan?"  
"h-huh? Well that.."  
"stop! Don't say anything! Im going to take a shower so get out of my way!" I threw a pillow at him and headed to the bathroom, I know the answer to that question, he won't blush brightly if that was just a moan, that moan was something.."jeeezz…" .

After the shower I headed to the school building and left tsuki, there is no way in hell I would walk with him after that. I sat down to my chair near the window and sat there in silence as the teachers lecture swept through my ear. I fixed my gaze beside me and saw the blond paying real attention at the lecture, Tsuki is not smart , but he isn't dumb either. I didn't notice how long I kept staring at him until I met his confused face, which I in turn I scowled and looked away.  
the bell rang, finally! I could get out of here. I stood up before the teacher could even get out of the room, I heard a low growl from him but I don't even care as stares were fixed at me I just ignored them as I walked straight to my locker opening it I noticed a note slipped out as I opened. Looking at the note in the floor for a bit moment I picked it up and inspect it. "a letter?" I raised a brow , no one really gave me a letter so….. who the hell is this lowlife creature? Half of my mind wanted to trash it but half of it was saying the opposite. Before opening it I saw a glimpse of tsuki looking at me and the letter before turning away. Could it be that he gave this? Shaking my head at a impossible thought I opened the letter and what I saw there nearly drain the colour out of me .

_Hachimen Roppi  
are you happy? Are you lonely? Are you loved? I guess the answer is no.  
no one loves you, people curse you as much as you curse them .  
no one deserves you, you better go back to that little dark corner.  
I bet you remembered that please do remember that no one will  
ever, ever accept and love you because you are crazy, a demon.  
a creature who doesn't deserve love, you killed them and  
slaughtered them , that what demons do…  
and keep living like one._

I crunched the paper in my hand and threw it in the nearest trash going to the rooftop I decided to skip the next class, I need to clear my head, memories are flooding on that day and tried my best to keep it on the darkest side of my life but I just can't seem to do so. I sat down and stared down at my bandaged wrist maybe I could use up for some more cuts. The contents of the letter sank into me that it kept on repeating over and over again, now that I think of it, who could that be? Only few people knew what happen five years ago.  
I took out the small blade in my pocket and held my wrist, I just need the feel of pain even just for a bit, just a small cut, just to make sure im still alive, that I still exist. That i-  
"Roppi-san? Your skipping class"  
tsk! There he goes again, see always in the right timing just how brilliant is that.  
"what?!" I scolded and hid the blade away. And stood up my parka jacket has slung against my shoulder  
"a-are you trying to do it again?"he slowly approached me and blinked.  
"I don't have to answer that" I scoffed and decided to walk away passing him through but I felt a tug on my sleeve and looked back at him with a glare. "what?! Can't you find your way back? Tch! Im not in the mood Tsuki!" I narrowed my stare at him but I was greeted by a faint blush on his face.  
"I-I was thinking maybe w-we could go out today to help you e-ease your bad mood"  
"but.. aren't you skipping class as well?" I raised my brow , tsuki always pay attention to his studies he never skipped class except today, just to ask me that? I looked at how he turned his gaze away, dipping his face in his scarf as a blush swept in his cheeks ..it was cute.  
"I-I don't m-mind skipping a-as long as it's w-with R-Roppi-san"  
what's with that answer ? I stared at him until our gaze locked and I got lost at his eyes, I felt my cheeks burned up as I whip my head away.  
"fine."

chapter4

I was following the blond as he walked in the streets, even I doesn't have any idea where we are going he just started walking and looking down at his journal and then to the streets before scratching his head and then we would walk to another direction. Giving an irritated sigh I grabbed his hands and stopped him on his tracks.  
"hold on Tsuki! Do you exactly know where we are going?!" I snapped at him, and with that I know the answer. "seriously Tsuki!you asked me out and you don't know where we are going?! Tch! Im going home! " I spun around and start to walk away bit then he grabbed my sleeve again and bowed.  
"i-im sorry Roppi-san i-im trying but I just can't seem to—"  
"ugh! Shut it! Fine! Where do you want to go?"  
"the central park" he whispered and looked down, in return I rolled my eyes and dragged him with me. "we already passed it jeezz… you really had no sense of direction do you?" walking and stomping my aching feet as we came to our destination. Letting out a sigh I sat down in one of the bench and closed my eyes. I need rest being with this guy is tiring but at least I proved that I should not trust his sense of direction.  
"so why did you brought me here in the first place?" I asked and leaned on the bench as waited for his answer. I want this to be over and go home, I don't like spending so much time on places like this since I spent too much time out yesterday. Looking at the children running in front of us I saw the blond smiling as he looked at the children.  
"this i-is the place where I f-first saw my masterpiece" he fixed his gaze at me and smiled. Wait what did he just said? Master piece? I raised a confused eyebrow and it seems that he understood that I don't know anything about it.  
"I paint..y-you know it right?"  
"I know" oh yes Tsuki paints this was his other hobby and mostly spends his time in his studio, he rented it inside the art building of his former teacher mostly he was just out to work in delivering letters or in his studio. Hence me I stayed in the dorm more than going out I liked to be alone, my part time job is in a library first because no one really goes to it now a days and arranging books is not that bad. I find it fun really. I looked back at the crimson orbs as I started to focus on the blond In my front.  
"I invited y-you to some of the exhibits"  
"not interested" I said bluntly, I know that was mean but I can't help it.  
"my masterpiece it really inspired me when I saw it, the w-weather was very good but he was frowning.. i-I was too curious why he was sad, h-he looks so much in pain.."  
"like hell I care about it" I mumbled and rolled my eyes, I snatched a glimpse at the blond he was confused but then smiled and looked at the narrow grass  
"s-sorry about rambling things like t-that"  
I sighed In response and looked around, looked around the running children who I really don't care. No I don't really care what's around me I mean why should i? they mean nothing. They can't ease my pain nothing can. Stretching up I slowly got up on my knees and decided to go home, this really is not worth of my time.  
"Ropp-san..why are you l-like that?" I was startled at his voice but more to his question, confusion strike me I stared at him as I raised a questioning brow. What does that mean? Why am I like this? Well sorry but I AM like this and there's no changing on that"excuse me?! If you are referring to my attitude then sorry because I have no intention in cha—" I stopped my rambling as the blond starts to talk again making me freeze in his words.  
"why do you look so dead when e-everything around y-you is so alive?" he smiled at me and I just stared at him the fact is I don't know what my face looks like.  
"look around you, the children are laughing, t-the look in their faces don't they make you want to smile as well?" I looked around the laughing children running in my front chasing each other and I answered him mentally.  
_no, because I never played under the sun  
_"does the cold breeze sooth you and makes y-you calm?"  
_no, because I haven't felt any soothing breeze.  
_"the color of the flowers around you, does that not –b-brings joy to you"  
_no, because I only know two dark colors._

I heard the blonde sighed and stood up as well, I don't want to hear more none sense and starts to walk away forgetting all he said and left him there walking back to the dorm. I wanted to be alone again I want to go back there fast, his last words are still in my mind and I hate it. Why do he always give me brain storming statements! As I went to my apartment his last words rung into my head

"_I just want to make R-Roppi-san realize that small things can m-make him happy… and if h-he would just open his heart we will see it, h-he might realize that someone c-can ease his pain." _

I stood in front of the dorm and sighed before opening it why do that blond kept on saying things like that! It made me hate him even more…. but do I really hate him? I know I feel something towards him, but I don't what it was.. giving up on some my silly thoughts I open the door and headed straight to the bathroom but what I saw there drain all the life out of me.


	5. Chapter 5: the calm kiss

Chapter5

How? Who? Is the first question that swept in my mind as I read the content written in the bathroom mirror, written in there was "0_5/06/07 : 4 bodies 'murder case' " _ it was written with the color red…  
"blood?" I murmured and backed away as I read it again and again and again until it played the scene that drove me insane. The time when blood spattered over the floor, a glinting knife and distorted bodies as the memories flooded in my head I was trembling so bad. that night I was free but at the same time still a prisoner of my own dreadful memories. The screams and pleads.  
_"no! please don't! n..noo .."  
"stop it! Roppi! Stop"  
"you demon! "  
_ I grasped a fist of my hair and banged my head on the wall as I started screaming I stared at the mirror and punched it so hard that it was broken in tiny pieces my fist was bleeding and I started to cry and start to tremble and scream trashing everything in the bathroom, the curtains were being torn the glass and other things scrambled in the floor as I sat in the corner rocking back and forth covering my ears from hearing the voices in my head. How long has it been since my last attack? I don't remember but today I couldn't get a hold of myself anymore I started cutting my wrist but it wasn't deep it was just enough to drain my blood.  
"im a…de—"  
"ROPPI!" I didn't notice the bathroom door opened but I saw the worried look of the blond as he looked around and quickly rushed to my aid noticing the change on me he frowns. A very rare sight of him  
"roppi-san.. why?"  
"im… im a.. im a devil Tsuki.." I started to rock again now more tears are streaming as I started to sob, I can't believe im going to break like this in his front. I never cried like this since the murder incident and to think I am now.  
"no you are n-not!" I heard him say and I started to sob more but it became muffled as he pulled me close to him, pulling me into a tight comforting hug, I allowed myself to sink in his heat in his warmth, happy to know he touched me without getting hurt.  
"roppi-san isn't a demon. H-he's an angel , he was the angel of my life" he pulled back and wiped the tears that was streaming on my face.  
"no! Im a demon! You don't understand anything you don't know! Im not! Im not!" I started to scream again and trash against his hold, the air in my lungs started to evaporate as I was hysterically screaming. I felt Tsuki's grasp on my wrist tightened."you won't understand! No one will so stop pretending like you care! You know not-" I was being silence as his lips was pressed against mine his hands cupped my cheeks as he wiped some tears that was dripping, he softly moved his tongue over to my lips and pecked it before backing off. He looked at me and rubbed his thumb on my cheek that made me calm.  
"I want to understand you more, and if you would allow me I will show you that you are no demon, that you are just a lonely angel that wanted love." And with that he pressed his lips into mine again. I never felt warmth like this in my life, living in a dark basement for fourteenyears without light, and warmth I always got to that feeling yet now I can't explain the heat that was engulfing me by a kiss. A heart melting kiss. Tsuki licked my lips as he leaned closer, uncertain what to do I hesitantly parted my lips and as soon as I did that I felt his tongue swept in my mouth as he deepen the kiss, his tongue exploring my mouth. I started to kiss him back which took him by surprise, we continued the kiss, tongue battling over eachother as I tilted my head and leaned closer to him when the need of air was very much in want Tsuki backed off his face was so bright that his scarf can't even hide it. I guess I have the same face as well. Looking at him I reached for his face but before I could do that my lids felt heavy and before anything else I lose all control of myself and let the darkness take over me and before I could lose it I said one last thing.  
"Tsuki…"

"Izaaaayaaa!" another sign post flew past through me as I ran in an empty alley to get away from the furious Shizuo Heiwajima ending a dead end I sighed in dismay as I waited for the monster to come.  
"you louse!" he slowly walked towards me and backed me up in the wall as he grit his teeth. I looked at the blond in my front wearing his white button up shirt alone and growled.  
"you realy don't have to announce in public what I do you know? " he grins as I chuckled.  
"but your flushed face there was awesome~" I chirped and I know it hit a nerve as he made another growl and grabbed me by the collar before pulling me into a heated kiss, I automatically wrapped my arms around his shoulder and returned the kiss, tongue battling and nibbled tasting eachother. Now you might be wondering why actually is happening , you see Shizu-chan and I are together for over a year now. I love this brute so much and he felt the same way, I don't have to explain the details of how we fell inlove and stuff because that will be another story either way today I got him pissed. I waited outside the school on where he worked, yes yes I know my reaction was. 'what the brute had become a teacher! Shizu-chan must be the prefect '; and yeah that seriously ticked him. He was with his brother Tsugaru, who told him to take this option as a job than being a bodyguard well know I have overcome the irony of this stupid blond being a teacher. So yes I waited for his class to end and we went out on a date and on this restaurant I had a fancy talk with the waitress and told her how rough and what a beast Shizu-chan is in bed, which ticked him off and thus our long forgotten game started.  
"nnn.." my thoughts trailed off as I felt his hand slid inside my shirt touching here and there that I couldn't help but moan.  
"you flea should shut your mouth sometimes you know.." he growled and nipped my lips down my neck, the place started to feel so small and my body so hot. "Shi..ahh" I moaned again before hearing my phone's ringtone which in turn I ignored as I focused on the blond's hands and lips. The phone rang again and again and again. Hearing a growl and followed by a cursing. Shizuo backed away and growled.  
"just fucking answer that thing its annoying!" he hissed and took out one of his cancer sticks and lighting it. Seriously who ever this person is. Will die he will die! I pressed that talk button and practically raised my voice.  
"what!? "  
"….I-Izaya-san.." there was a minute of silence before the person on the other line talked, probably sensing my anger. But as I heard my name I immediately know who it was.  
"tsuki, what is it?" I rubbed my temples as I looked at Shizuo  
"s-sorry to disturb you..but R-roppi-san is.."  
"so he did cut again? Call Shinra."  
"I did! B-but he was h-hysterical when I saw him."  
"Hysterical?" could it be? Then Tsuki might be.. "tsuki are you alright? did he hurt you?"  
"n-no.. I calmed him down."  
"you did!" now that was a shock, nobody could calm Roppi aside from a needle. "okay call Shinra and I'l be on my way there." I ended the call and started walking out of the alley and starts to think what might have triggered Roppi to be hysterical it's been a year since he had composed himself. What's going on?  
"oi! Flea what's with the face? Did your cousin cut again? No wonder I didn't see him in my class"  
"seriously you are his homeroom teacher, you should pay attention to your students you know especially the student that is related to your lover" I pouted. And he raised a brow before puffing out his cigarette.  
"trust me your cousin is smart, he skips and rarely attends class but he passed all my subjects, he skipped this afternoon along with Tsuki, seriously your clan is a bad influence in my clan." He muttered and sighed as he looked at the direction of the school.  
"was that our problem? If your clan is easily attached to mine? Jeez… like I didn't know that Tsugaru is going out with his student" I smirked as I saw a glare on the other's eyes. "but im serious Shizu-chan please watch over Roppi, he's having hard time in his life."


	6. Chapter 6: The old Family

I stood in front of the door and knocked as I waited for it to open, looking behind me Shizuo stood there waiting as well when we receive no response, I tried to open the door which was from the starts was unlocked. Barging in I looked around the room and saw Roppi on his bed soundly asleep bandaged wrapped around his head and arm.

"Tsuki?" I called out, but I was being dragged by Shizuo on the bathroom to find a kneeling Tsuki, picking up some shards from the broken mirror.

"Tsuki" Shizuo called out which made the younger blond looked up at us and trashed the shards he had on the trash bin.

"S-sorry I-Izaya-san Shizuo-nii I was busy i-I didn't heard you coming in" he stood up and frowns.

"what happen here?" I asked and looked around burying my hand in my jacket pocket. I heard the younger blond sigh and looked around.

"I s-saw Roppi-san here rocking and w-was bleeding he starts to scream at me and was crying, h-he look so much in pain"

"im sorry this must be one of his episodes it's good to know you are alright, cause you know once he started being like that he won't calm down it would take sedate to take him down, by the way Tsuki how did you make Roppi calm down? That's very rare" I asked in curiosity well because it was really rare Psyche got stabbed when he tried to calm Roppi I was nearly pushed off to death when I angered him. So how come this blond is standing in my front unharmed without even a single scratch?

"i-i- i-it's a w-well long s-story i-i-" the stuttering blond was trying to figure what to say I looked at him and I saw the bright blush on his face up to his ears was visible. Oh no! did he?

"you fucked him?" I said plain and straight which in turn the younger blond's face was beet red, before I felt a hard smack on my head.

"the hell!"I rubbed my head and looked back at Shizuo.

"what foul language you are saying in front of a kid? And what are you saying Tsukishima doesn't even know how to kiss!" he rubbed the back of his head and looked at his cousin in turn.

"w-well th-that's.."

"don't tell me Delic is teaching you things!"

"ye- I mean NO!" he shook his violently and looked at me with a 'please stop this talk' look. I chuckled and sighed before focusing on the situation on hand.

"okay so how was he?" I said referring to roppi and peeked through the door and saw the sleeping raven on his bed.

"Shinra-san visited and treated h-his wounds. He left earlier and j-just gave me some medicine"  
I nodded and looked at the clock deciding it was already late I made my way out.

"Tsuki please watch over that brat, he isn't friendly but he was just in pain I hope you could understand it."

"I do.. – u-understand" I smiled at him and walked out of the room saying my last message. "and oh don't worry

Roppi doesn't remember his episode so he will wake up confused" I winked at him and clings next to my beloved monster as we walked out of the establishment. "you sure Tsuki doesn't know how to kiss?" I asked and then heard him chuckle .

"my clan is a good kisser flea" he smiled and leaned down to capture my lips and melted in the kiss.

It was dark and my body was aching, my head my wrist all of it it was as if there was a huge boulder on top of me. I feel so numb and my senses are so dull. I forced my eyes open and looked around the place since it was a familiar place I figured I was still in the dorm. As I fixed my gaze in the ceiling which I regret later since it started to throb really bad. I brought my hand on my head and noticed the bandage around it, wincing I sat up and my gaze focused on the blond mop of hair on the side of my bed. "tsuki?" I blinked and groaned. Looking at the sleeping form in my side I studied his face carefully, those crimson orbs were now hidden and under his dark lashes. His thin lips and smooth skin and his silky blond locks. As I stared at him something flashed in my mind, Tsuki's mental image in the shower. _Oh god! Why do I keep remembering THAT!_ I growled and sighed in frustration. I tried my best to keep distance to others and be myself alone, I always put a barrier between me and other people and I always secure no one could get to close to me, I want to be alone and I hate anyone who comes to close to me and it makes me more angrier that someone like…. Like this blond..someone like Tsuki could get to close to me, he can stand me , he can bear being with me but..why?. my thoughts were being pulled back by the waking blond in my side. Rubbing his eyes under the glasses he blinked a couple of times and looked up at me, he stiffen as he realized my awakening.

"R-Roppi-san are you okay? Does you h-head hurt?"

"tch! Im fine!" I rolled my eyes and took a deep breath, now it came to me, how come did I end up being like this anyways?

"hey! Tsuki? What happen?" I asked curious as why my head is bleeding. And how I ended up being like this.

"I..I saw you in the bathroom a-all bleeding and was hysterical" he looked away from me and noticed that blush in his face but I ignored it trying to focus on what happened. '_murder case'_ now I recall that writtings on the bathroom mirror, and I saw myself trashing around and screaming.

"oh I remember now, so how did I calm down? You called Izaya?"

"y-you don't remember?" he asked his face was red but trying hard to compose himself. I raised my eyebrow at the question.

"you think I would ask if I DID?! Tch!" I rolled my eyes.

"w-well that i-is hows-shoul-"

"gah nevermind!" I hissed and rubbed my temples. I heard the blond stood up and grabbed something from the table and went back bringing a glass of water and medicine. He didn't say anything but just offered me the water. I took it by instincts and pop the medicine in my mouth followed by the water. Sitting still I felt two hands on my shoulder and shoved me to bed.

"y-you need to rest " Tsuki said and smiled.

"no! im fine " I trashed his hand away and sat up but then he placed it back to my shoulder and shoved me again this time the distance between our face was close and I could feel his warmth. His warmth what a familiar feeling as if It was sticking on me since I woke up and it just gotten so noticeable when he was close, like I already know what his warmth felt, its good and relaxing.

"p-please roppi-san" I looked up to him and sighed as I lay back avoiding eye contact with him.

Three days had passed regarding that incident. I didn't went to school for recovery but of course that was a lie I could go to school but I pretended that my head still hurt just to avoid public place, its also my free time alone, without anyone bothering me, looking at me or talking about me, without anyone that is called tsukishima. I was freely thinking that after the incident Tsukishima will not talk to me, he will avoid me and transfer to another room because he can't stand me, that he won't look at me anymore not even a glance because he was afraid of me and will throw a disgusting look upon seeing me, or so I thought. But then there he was sitting next to me in the same class, looking at me with curiosity in his crimson eyes. I glared at him as he was about to say something but was cut short by the door opening. Everyone scrambled on their seats , focusing and behaving as the teacher went in and walked to his chair took a seat and places his foot on the table like he was just in his house watching TV but what do you expect to see from Shizuo Heiwajima sensie.

"so…" he started and opened the class binder in his hand to take a look. "I guess everyone is present? " he asked, the people in the class just stared at one another, afraid to speak or say anything that might upset the blond teacher especially mentioning the missing person in the class.

"where the hell is Delic?"

"present!" the said blond was standing in the door way in carefree manner and smiled at the teacher who in returned growled. Delic is Shizuo's cousin Tsuki's twin brother. Though delic is the exact opposite of Tsuki. The guys annoyingly so cocky and everyone's friend. The said blond walked towards his chair behind Tsuki and sat down.

"youre late, who the hell told you to sit down?" Shizuo growled and glared at the younger blond.

"im just 4 minutes late.." delic reasoned out and shrugged.

"you are 4 minutes and 59 seconds late to sum it all and let us make things easy you and me then you are 5 minutes late, and perhaps you remembered my 5 minutes late policy"

"come one Sensie…

"no!"  
I sighed at the on-going argument and just rolled my eyes, that's when I saw the shy blond raised his hand shakily trying to gain the teacher's attention.

"yes Tsuki!?" the teacher raised his voice a bit that made the younger one flinch, Tsuki stood up and looked down.

"…..I…I suppose y-you should let Delic s-stay Sensie"

" . ? are you defending your brothers action?"

"no! i-its just we are g-going to have homeroom m-meeting so its better if e-everyone is present."

"tsk! Fine fine. So! Everybody pay attention, we had school field trip tomorrow, I told you the details the other day and as much as I hate to repeat it I have to, so you stay in the place only where we are going, no drinking, smoking going to dark places and make out there. Nah nah strickly prohibited. …" I heard the class sigh in frustration as Shizuo said the prohibited activities. "yeah yeah I know it's frustrating I would hate that too … so no complains and the inn we are staying is all fixed. You stay with your chosen roommate.. no one shall stay in the room ALONE…" I furrow my brow at the line he specifically pronounced alone looking at me as if it was meant to me. Wait! It was meant for me!

"Shizuo! is it possible not to attend?" I asked, yup I call my teachers in their first name, who cares.

"no because it is compulsory "

"but I don't want to go" I Argued

"then your grade for my subject would be in so much pain"

"how much pain would it be then?"

"as much pain if I throw this desk straight to your face Hachimen Roppi you will attend the trip weather you like it or not."

"well Im sorry but you can't force me, I don't care if I immobilize for weeks or if I fail your subject as much as it please no thanks im not coming with this stupid trip" I stood up and headed out of the class hearing faint whispers and bad talks about me, I took a final glance and saw a frowning Tsuki before I made my way to my locker and grab my things before I skip class again. But before I open the locker I was a bit hesitant opening it, im afraid to find another note, but I do hope I won't find anything here. With a deep breath I opened the locker and found no letter, nothing or so I thought. My eyes widen and took a deep suction of breath as I grabbed the photo that was on my locker . on the photo there was a family a man in suit a lady beside him then one girl and a boy. A family picture the family who adopted me and treated me like a trash, the family that locked me up in a dark basement for fourteen years, locked me from the outside world. And the family that I…I… I crushed the photo and looked around for the possibility to find the culprit but then none and I regret looking back at my locker as I saw it was tainted with blood. I gasped and closed my eyes my hallucination is kicking now, I punched the locker so hard and starts to mutter under my breath.

"no.. stop.. im not! No!"

"oh look the freak is here" I heard one guy approached me but I ignored him trying to focus on stopping my upcoming the damn bastard did not stop from there and pushed through he pushed my limits by saying.

"people like you doesn't deserve to be here!"

"shut up!"

"oh really?"

"shut up" I gritted my teeth and clenches my fist but the bastard continued.

"you don't belong here demon!"

that's it that drove me I glared at the red haired boy and grabbed something in my locker, anything, it just happen that I grabbed a scissor. Lunging forward I brought the sharp edge of the scissor in his face but then I felt strong hands grasped my arm stopping my assault, looking up I glared at the tall blond behind me. The scissor was inches away from the bastards face.

"Roro-chan!" I heard a voice behind the blond Pysche's magenta eyes were filled with shock, grasping my arm the older blond grabbed me up my feet and looked at me with his blue icy eyes.

"Hachimen Roppi to my office" he said in a low and calm manner.

"Tsu-sensei can Psyche go with Roro-chan?" Psyche asked and tailed us as the school prefect Tsugaru Shizuo's brother dragged me. Tsugaru looked back at Psyche and then to the sprawled kid. "Psyche assist Nasugima to the infirmary and you can go at my office to escort Roppi"

"okay! Please don't be too hard on Roro-chan" he smiled and went over to the sprawled kid.


	7. Chapter 7 :A small bite from the past

"Explain"

is the only thing that Tsugaru said as he sat on his office chair, tilting his head on the side and waited for my explanation. _Really? Why should i?  
_

"Hachimen Roppi?"

"he started it, I was being silent, he pushed my limit even though I did not do anything to him" I said looking at my feet. I don't want to meet Tsugaru's cold stern.

"so.. he started it? And he deserved a surgery on his face via scissor?" he raised a brow and tapped his finger on the table.

"look, i don't care if you suspend me or what, can we just get over with it. I don't to explain my self-further because I don't." I met his gaze finally, I earned the courage to face him, knowing Tsugaru he's patience is long so I might able to put out myself here.

"Roppi, you are a special case, your guardian Izaya, told me about you, so I considered you, now you know you could always talk to me. "

"I don't need your help , I don't need Izaya's help either. I just… I just want to live without anyone bothering me, talking and come near me"  
I heard him sigh before slowly rubbing his temples.

"I won't suspend you but… I need you to attend the field trip knowing you, I know you won't come, but this, this thing you did… I'll let you slide by being present at the trip I know that is enough punishment for you" he gave a warm smile while I was on the verge of shock and anger. I stood up and looked at him. "WHAT! No! I won't!"

"yes you will"

"NO! YOU DON'T DECIDE WHAT I WANT TO DO WITH MY LIFE IT AND YOU H—"

"Roro-chan!" Psyche's voiced beamed and went on to hug me but before he could land his hands on my I pushed him away and glared as he ended up in the ground.

"FUCK OFF PSYCHE!" I yelled and I heard Tsugaru's chair screech and I looked at him, I swear I saw an angry look in his face for a couple of minutes. "I don't tolerate such language in my office Hachimen Roppi!" his voice raised at that and was a bit off guarded at that as he made his way to Pysche and helped him up the worry in his face was written, they made an eye contact as if they were communicating. I stood there and observed. _Something was up in this two_..

"it's alright Tsu-sensie " Psyche said and stood up with the help of the blond. "Roro-chan, are you okay now? I bumped into Tsuki-chan he was worried about you " he started, I gritted my teeth at hearing the name. _Tsukishima, Tsukishima, Tsukishima! I had enough!_

"sorry I had to leave , I need to calm down" I said and left the placewalking to the hallways, I focused my stare at the ground , as I walked I noticed the stares that the students were giving me and I could hear their murmurs.

"yes, he really is scary right?" one girl said and turned to the other.

"hmm.. maybe crack in the head.." the other said.

"I guess, he's really something.. he looks like a demon.."

"have you heard he stabbed Nasugima.."

"tch!" I turned to them and glared _what stab? It didn't even reached his face._ I was them scramble away like rats afraid at my glare, and it's just the usual for me honestly I got used to it. The glares and disgusted look as they stare and talk to me is starting to get in my nerves now. I clench my fist and continued to walk at the corridor, looking at the floor. Im fine its nothing new to me , it was like part of my life the curses I get, them calling me names. When I escaped that hell of a family I thought my life would be wonderful, would be normal like other people but no. after I escaped from that place I was sent in an orphanage. I was fourteen and was curious about things in the world, you see when I was on that family, I was so ignorant, do I have to tell you the rest of it? Tsk. I don't want to start and I don't want to the end either so lets go to the middle. They keep under the stair for the rest of the day if they don't want to see my face, they lock it nothing was there it was dark and I sleep in a cold floor , and I was forbidden to make any sound because the stair was near the living room and they could hear my sobs. When they let me out it was either they make me work at the house or beat me to let their anger out. Especially that damn old man, whenever he had the chance he beat me and…and.. It's hard to say this but he at the same time molested me, when his wife learned about this she as well started getting her anger issues out of me. But then she made no complains on what his husband was doing. It went like that for six years. They don't teach me things never went to school, but when my real mom was still alive I used to go there, but when she died I died as well. I don't know what outside world looks like anymore aside from that darkness, but even though they didn't get me to go to school I learned on my all. They had a son who had a home schooling, I listen to him and his teacher in the living room as they discuss, it was like I was part of that class as well, I find it funny how stupid their son was, I can even get the right answers, when they are gone I learned how to unlock the room under the stair using a string and wire, I saw that on tv once when I was scrubbing the floor and I studied it whenever I had the chance and I mastered it perfectly. Once I got out I would read their son's textbooks and study and when I hear the car outside I go back to my place. I was 11 when the molestation started and what a trauma that was, I wasn't able to eat but hey, I rarely eat I wonder how I survived, that's where I started to cut but whenever I cut they treated it the old man was doctor, I cursed him for treating it. They wanted me so there is someone they could toy on as long as I live butt I cut and cut and cut and cut until I went depressed and the depression went to self-inflicted pain to self-starving something that could kill me , but little did I know it already affected my mental state. I so disgusted at myself thinking about that old man touching me , when he does I just pretend I was in the park but then I can't because I don't know what park looks like anymore so I just lay there like a rag doll a piece of used meat… as how that ended?

I don't want to remember how it ended.

I felt my tears starting to escape in my eyes as I hugged my knees close to my chest in a protective curl, I was in the rooftop I need to escape from the gaze and attention. Quite sobs escaped from me as I buried my face on my folded arms , I need to let it out I haven't cried for almost three years and I need to pour it out now. My sobs was still there but my body stiffen when I sense a presence , I slowly peeked at my arms and saw pair of legs I didn't look up I don't want anyone seeing me in this weak state.  
_go away! Leave me!_  
I was stunned to hear a familiar voice.

"Roppi-s-san?"  
_no! why does it have to be him? Of all people!  
_

"GO AWAY!" I snarled not looking up at him I don't want him to see my face. "DON'T LOOK AT ME! GO! GO AWAY!" I continued to snarled but he didn't move an inch.

"if R-Roppi-san is worried about me s-seeing his face this should work then." He said and I saw his bag dropped on the floor and some shuffling noises he slowly kneel down and placed his glasses on the side of his bag.

"I guess t-this will work I don't have to see Roppi-san's f-face."  
I slowly lifted my head to see the blond on his knees his scarf was neatly folded and was covered on his eyes. He blinked in confusion and tilted my head though my tears was still there.

"it's okay to c-cry now, I can't see you s-so…..im not good in comforting people b-but it's the least I could do.." he stretched his arms awkwardly waiting for me … I was having second thoughts but I need to let it out right NOW and he can't see me so he can't really mock me about it. Without second thoughts I dove at him wrapping my arms on his frame in a embrace and buried my face on his chest as I started to sob, he almost fell at the impact but managed to stay. I gripped his shirt tighter and felt his hand rubbed circles on my back his other hand running through my hair and I couldn't help but feel accompany, to feel so relaxed, to feel that someone was there. And his warmth was so relaxing and I think I have experience the same warmth before but I didn't mind at that, that afternoon I poured my cries at his shirt and to him.  
-

It went like that for the rest of the afternoon Roppi cried and apparently wet my shirt but I didn't mind, I was happy that he didn't walked away from me, because I figured he would, I saw him walking in the corridor earlier he looked so spaced out and …sad it made pang on my chest I tried to call him but he ignored me, I walked and walked and followed him but I lost sight of him. At that time I know I need to find him something was terribly wrong and I could sense it . thinking of other place he could go the only thing came to me is the rooftop that's why I followed him. And as I came there I heard sobs and whimpers and it made me worry, rushing to the other side of the place I saw Roppi, curling like a ball and sobbing. He trashed at me at first but then I had an idea and apparently he agreed on it.

I look at the darkness that devoured my sight for the rest of the afternoon, I don't know if I should take my blinds already I might upset him, staying there and listening I noticed that it had been quite and the raven's shoulder had stopped shaking and his sobs was gone, thinking thrice I decided to take untie my scarf and adjusted at the sudden piercing light, blinking a couple of times I stared at the blurry place presented to me. Reaching around looking for my forgotten glasses, feeling them in my fingers I grabbed them and placed it in my eyes quickly my eyesight became much more clearer and I looked at the lithe form that was resting on my chest, moving the raven slowly I saw that he was asleep, maybe he [assed out. I just stayed there and brushed off some his raven locks and wiped away the small beads of tears in the corner of his closed eyes. It's good that haven't seen him cry and my idea was good one.  
But little did he know that I myself don't want to him sad…  
It pained me to see him like that…  
Because I…  
love..  
him.


	8. Chapter 8: The Field Trip

_**Hello! Oh first off all I would like to thank my very first reviewer **__**Fwuffy**__**. **__**thank you very much for a wonderful review it inspired me to write. First of all yeah I noticed the grammar thing I promise I would edit it if I would have enough time because I had only limited access on a computer , but I will try my best to work hard… so here are the chapter 8!**_

What happened at the rooftop remained unspoken until today. Tsuki carried me back to the dorm after I passed which was embarrassing in my part, Hibiya told me that he saw Tsuki carrying me princess style. Jeezz he could at least carry me in his back, why like that? Either way I was forced to attend the stupid field trip. Im not an easy person to persuade but due to some circumstances I did come, and these circumstances are:

1. Izaya is calling and texting me nonstop.  
was serious in not signing my clearance if I don't come.  
's continues whines and knocking at my dorm room.  
's tipping the class record in my front in a disapproving manner, and lastly  
5. Tsuki's request.

Tsuki says it might help me on releasing some of my depression if I go outside, a different atmosphere might calm me down, now that was right. So here I am packing my things in my bag pack. After packing I looked behind me to find Tsuki went out the bathroom. Drying his hair with a towel and sat down on one of the chair drinking a glass of water, he fixed his gaze at me and tilts his head.

"oh Roppi-san I-I fixed the bathroom lock y-yesterday " he said and took his glasses cleaning it with his handkerchief, then I recalled the mental image of him in the shower that seemed to remain in my brain and I looked away.

"good then" I just said and checked my things again before I heard him talk again.

"a-about yesterd-"

"I told you I don't want to talk about it! Just pretend nothing happened" I argued and sighed.

"but i-I was just concern"

"just shut up already will you? If you do that the rest of the day I'll be pleased" I said before walking out of the room carrying my bag and walked to the school.

In the gates I could already see the students in groups and the buses around. Walking to the crowd I spotted my group unluckily the teacher incharge was Shizuo and Tsugaru. _Yeah right if I know this was all planned by both of them to watch over me_ how did I say that? My roommate is Tsuki, Psyche and Hibiya are in the same bus as me as well as Delic, see the modus? I sighed and walked towards my group suddenly arms were latched around my neck and I stumbled backwards.

"Roro-chaan~!" Psyche's chirpy voice pierced my ears as I pushed him away this time he gained some balance unlike before. "so mean Roro-chan!" he added and put out his headphones letting it hang on his neck. I heard a scoff and looked around to see Hibiya crossing his arms.

"how many times do I have to remind you don't hug someone who doesn't want to be hugged" Hibiya's mighty voice said as he looked at his older brother Psyche, Psyche was a year older that Hibiya but act like some kid in grade school unlike his younger brother who was more mature. Actually I like Hibiya he doesn't stick his nose on someone's business and he was compose, calm and always think first before anything, he had great pride like Izaya and also a spoiled brat, like a prince he was a good leader and responsible though mostly he had a deadpan expression.

"but Psyche wants to hug Roro-chan! Even Hibi-chan pushes Psyche away…. Psyche just wanted to cuddle" he pouts and I looked at Hibiya which we both just rolled our eyes. That was Pyche's manner hugging someone close to him as a greeting.

"AH! Tsuki-chan~!" he chirped and ran towards the blond and jumped into him arms and legs were latch into the blond. "ne, Tsuki-chan twirl Psyche!" I saw the blond smiled uncomfortably he was carrying his own bag but he was also carrying other two bags in his arms, he was just standing there as Psyche was practically latched at him, im not happy at the sight im seeing. "something wrong Tsuki-chan?" He asked tilting his head, I didn't hear him answer he just shook his head and smiled. Psyche pouts and jumped off Tsuki, then I heard another voices.

"ahh thank you for carrying our bags Tsuki" a girl with wavy dark brown hair was smiling at the blond, I looked at her, Yukima Akiko the class representative and I might say everyone's favourite and campus crush thought yeah she's pretty. Green flaring eyes and good body shape but then I don't find myself very interested in her in the first handed them the bag and nods. She then brushed his golden locks and smiled before she and her friend took their bag from the blond's grasp. I saw Tsuki blushed and walked towards our direction. _Maybe he liked Akiko_ I dismissed the thought and shook my head _who cares if he likes her or not it's none of my business really._

"okay everybody here?!" Shizuo announced at as he stood in the entrance of the bus. Tsugaru was down checking his watch and the students.

"Heiwajima-sensie! " one student called behind me.

"yes?" both Shizuo and Tsugaru answered and there was an awkward silence before the student spoke.

""Hiewajima Shizuo-sensie?"

"are you asking me?!" Shizoo snapped I couldn't help but feel bad for the guy.

"uhmm Delic hasn't arrive yet"

A growl could be heard from Shizuo's throat as he slammed the nearest chair and gritted his teeth. "Tsukishima! Where is your brother?!" Shizuo practically yelled and Tsugaru just sighed and looked around. Tsuki practically flinched at the raising voice. I looked at the crimson blond shook his head gently saying he doesn't know. Shizuo was about to say something when we heard a familiar voice.

"Sorry I was late~ something came up" Delic said running towards our direction and catching his breath standing next to Hibiya. I saw Hibiya raised a brow and inched farther from the blond clenching his fist and threw a punch at the blond all of the sudden.

"wha-!" Delic grinned, I raised a brow at that who's idiot is going to grin after being punched, I heard Tsugaru say something along the lines of everybody should go in and how fighting was prohibited. I focused back on getting inside the bus, we fell in line Hibiya was in my front and I gave him a questioning look as he looked at me.

"what was that back there?" I asked normally I don't really ask and it's not my business but then seeing Hibiya act like that was strange and I was curious. Hibiya looked behind me and then sighed before facing the line again I heard what he said clear as day. "_Delic groped my ass"_

As I sat on the bus, Im seated near the window, second row from the left, in my front sat Shizuo and a vacant seat for the tour guide, beside me was Tsuki, who didn't said anything as soon as he came in the bus, I find it strange but I didn't said anything as well. I looked around and saw on the first row in the right was Psyche and Tsugaru, behind them on the same line as I am was well Hibiya and Delic. I raied a brow at Hibiya, of all people he was paired with Delic. I sighed and turned to look at Tsuki who was silently sitting beside me, he faced me and gave me a warm smile. I rolled my eyes and faced the window again looking at the landscapes that we are passing through.

"nnngghh…"  
I whipped my head to look at Shizuo stretching his arms above his head as he moaned in satisfaction. A smile gracing on his face. _Okay I find it weird that Shizuo is smiling_.

"ne~Shi-sensei don't you feel lonely Iza-nii isn't around." Psyche said as he smiled in his seat.

"heh I don't mind Psyche I need a break from that flea's voice" Shizuo smiled. I chuckled at that and made a retort "it's a miracle that he didn't joined us because knowing him he would really tag along." I said and crossed my arms, I saw Tsuki nods in agreement , Shizuo turned his body and faced me .

"yeah now that you mention it… but still I sometimes need a rest or day off from the louse."

"so you really don't miss him?"I noticed the bus stopped as it picked up the tourist guide on the agency and listened to Shizuo.

"It's not that.. I mean lately he was so clingy I don't know why.."

"maybe he was ju—" my voice trailed off as I fixed my gaze at the tour guide behind Shizou, the said tour guide starts to talk.

"awww~ that's mean Shizu-chan~"  
Shizuo whipped his head and faced the certain tour guide, I looked at Izaya and then to Shizuo.

"FLEA! What are you doing here!?"

"hello everyone I am your tour guide for today? Isn't it sweet?~" he smiled , I looked at Izaya who was wearing a lapel so that everyone could hear him.

"the hell, why are you the tour guide?" Shizuo argued.

"ahh well to answer your question Shizuo-sensie I was working you know"

"what happen to the tour guide?"

"oh… he happens to be absent he's sick." Izaya grinned and turned back his attention at the students.

"or maybe you did something to him!?"

"ne, Shizu-chan I guess you really did miss me ne? don't worry if you let me tag along I'll reward you back in our house~"

the students made a teasing sound as Izaya winked at them and ignored the fuming Shizuo who's veins is visible in his forehead. Tsuzgaru chuckled and pats Psyche's head before turning to Shizuo.  
"oh.. Shizuo I want to remind you we are in a bus and we want to go to the trip alive .." I grunt and faced the window again ignoring izaya's rant and informations about the place, really I admire shizuo for putting up with Izaya. I can't even imagine myself living with him I mean he is so much annoying , I looked back at the older raven as he points at the right side showing us an old church, the rest of the trip was boring but it was noisy one because of Izaya, he knew the students and of course all students knew the great informant boyfriend of the infamous teacher . he kept throwing jokes and interview some of the students when there is nothing worth explaining at the place. It was loud and noisy, maybe if it was just a ordinary tour guide everyone would be asleep, but still even though it was noisy and loud, I was missing something , im missing a voice and I don't think I could handle without hearing it. Tsuki is so damn quite it's really new for me… I sighed and looked at the window again. Leaning my head on window and sighed until I felt somebody poked me, I looked back and saw Tsuki handling me a melon bread smiling warmly. I raised a brow waiting for him to speak up but nothing I came.

"for me?" I asked the obvious but I just want him to respond and talk, I never thought I missed his stuttering voice . he smiled and nods shoving the bread further for me to accept.

"I won't accept that" I said and glared at him, I saw his smile slowly fade until his earlier smile went to a small frown, and looked at the bread tilting his head and looked at me again. "I won't accept that unless you talk" I spat and looked back at the window again.

"Ro-Roppi-san?" he asked softly and I turned to him letting out a deep sigh.

"there! You can speak, why aren't you speaking, you know it's irritating!" I said and crossed my arms looking at him.

"I thought me b-being silent is irritating, that's why when you s-said you'll be pleased if I r-remain silent I did what you s-said" he said and looked at the bread in his hands fidgeting the ends of the wrapper. _Did I just heard it right?_ He remained silent because I said so? What?

"what! Are you stupid! Why would you follow whatever I say you have own brain!"

"be-because if that would make Roppi-san happy i… I would do it" he said and looked down burying his face on his scarf as his cheeks were decorated with red dust. _He's blushing so cute..ugh! damn thoughts!_ I 'tch' and grabbed the melon bread from him and turned to the window looking at nothing really and I started to munch the bread which taste good by the way.

I was glad Roppi-san took the bread even though in an irritated way, im still glad because he accepted something that came from me, also im glad because he wanted to let me talk again. The rest of the trip was tiring Roppi was just staring at the window and was silent but I could see in the reflection from the window he was glancing at me and that made my trip wonderful as well. Izaya was now playing in his phone with Shizuo, I looked around to observe , I turned to my side to see my brother Delic bothering Hibiya who was now borrowing Psyche's headphone to ignore him. Tsugaru and Pyche were talking . I sighed and fixed my glasses and before I know it I felt a heavy thing on my shoulder, looking around slowly I saw Roppi's sleeping face, he was leaning on my shoulder and was sleeping peacefully. I smiled and raised my hand to touch his face but then somebody might see it so I restrained myself instead, I grabbed my sketch pad and pencil as I started to sketch Roppi's sleeping face in my angle and that was all I did the rest of the trip.


	9. Chapter 9: The Promise I made

The bus stopped at a certain inn, the stop made Roppi stir in his sleep as crimson eyes like mine started to open, I looked down at him and smiled softly as he looked up and met my gaze. Then he backed away realizing his earlier position, I saw his blushing face before turning away. _He really is cute and adorable. _i smiled as he stood up and passed me grabbing his stuff and avoiding an eye contact from me. I sighed and grabbed my things as well , it's nothing new really Im used of Roppi treating me like this, ignoring me and insulting me but it's fine I can endure it all, if that what makes him happy then it's not a problem. I really love him and I don't know if I need to tell him or not, because if I do I might destroy everything that ive worked so hard to gain his attention and trust and I don't want that to happen. Maybe keeping it to myself is enough. I took a deep sigh and followed the group still pondering things over im still wondering what is Roppi's problem since he never really open to me but I hope he would open up to me, seeing him cry…no hearing him cry and sobbed like that I know he really is in pain. If I could just do something to ease his suffering I would do, I want to see him smile and I didn't see him smile since then. I promised that .. from the moment I saw him I promised myself that I would see him smile, I would _make_ him smile.

"Tsuki! You're going to hit a pole!"

_CLANG!_  
I fell on the ground with a thud and rubbed my head looking at the pole that I just ran into, I might have really got lost on my thought. I heard the students laugh at my clumsiness and now I feel so embarrass like the whole world was laughing at me and I hate it, I hate so much attention so I buried my face in my scarf as I looked for my fallen glasses, I couldn't make out it was blur. Hearing the crowd laugh I started to panic and before I could even move my visions became clear and I saw Roppi putting my glasses back.

"stupid humans not even helping someone in this state'' I heard him mutter under his breath as he helped me to stand.

"t-th- thanks" I looked down and sighed I really hate my stuttering! Why can't I just speak straight like normal people do, It seems I could only speak straight with Delic.

"come on now!" I felt my self being dragged by the raven inside the inn and stopping into our room, I smiled as he still held my hand even though we were already inside and I was hoping he won't let go of it. But to him and my surprise there was only one bed. Dear god one bed! Why? But then it wasn't that bad i mean the bed was huge but it's still and awkward situation later on I heard the raven snapped.

"what the hell! One bed!?" he practically screamed and scoffs finally letting go of my hand "what is this! Ugh! "

"i-I could sleep in th-the couch " I volunteered and he stiffened and I heard him taking a deep breath before turning back to me.

"no I'll sleep on the couch"

"b-but I y-you don't have too."

"no don't argue Tsuki!"

we continued to argue over the bed until we heard a crash and yell on the other room. Peeking our head on the door frame we saw Hibiya Kicking Delic's ass out the door, he crossed his arms and looked down.

"YOU SLEEP ON THE FLOOR YOU PATHETIC JERK! IF YOU WANT TO STAY INSIDE THE ROOM WELL DO MY RULES AND STOP GROPPING MY ASS!" Delic sat on the floor and looked up at the door before it opened again throwing his bag on his head and the door shuts again.

"I swear in this door and in this floor that I will make you scream and beg! Delic stood up pointing at the door and grinned before facing us.

"oh.. sorry about that scene my wife was rather moody" he smiled.

"IM NOT YOUR WIFE!"  
Delic sighed and grabbed his things heading to our direction and looked inside the place.."so we got the one bed room" he pouts and then frowns

"oh have you guys already ate?" my brother asked and hung his bag over his shoulder , I shook my head and fidgeted with my scarf before he wrapped his arms around my shoulder and laughs. "let's go then hey Hachi-chan let's eat!" he smiled I saw Roppi raised a brow at the nickname before turning away.

"no thanks.."

"okay~" he smiled and dragged me to the cafeteria.

I faced my brother and looked around surprisingly there was few people around and as we start to eat. I eye my brother suspiciously and starts to think. What's wrong with delic really he was never this being clingy to me and treating me is very unlikely him well except if he….

"De-Delic what do you need?" I asked and realized the real meaning of his action he wants something.

"eh? That was fast Tsukishima-nii~" he smiled.

"do-don't call me like that" I mumbled and I hated it when he calls me that.

"but … you are one year older than me~ though no one knew about that" he giggled.

"just tell me what you want then, and don't treat me with this fancy food" I looked at him and frowned. He gulped and starts to find his words as I stare at him. It was true I was the older brother but he really act older than me though no one knew about it cause the assume already by see ing us that Delic was the older without even asking and well ii just let them think like that.

"you know what Tsuki it really frightens me when you talk straight like that.."

"then just tell me already!"

"okay! Can you convince Shizuo on not letting me get detention when we go back to school" he smiled at me sweetly and I raised a brow at him and scoffs.

"Delic that's really you're problem not mine.. so I can't and besides why are you dragging me into this? You really do drag me in things and clearly most of it are you're bad influence"

"me bad influence? A younger brother? But you learned a lot from me"

"oh really like what then?" I looked at him and raised a brow.

"hah! You want me to enumerate? Maybe you could use it to hit Hachi-chan~"

"huh? what do you mean?"

"tell me Tsukishima-nii~ have you kissed Hachi-chan?"

"wha-what d-do you m-mean?!" okay that was a shocking question.

"heh~ you don't have to repeat your answer and you're stuttering like crazy and blushing as well! You did it!?" his eyes gleam as he looked at me. I did nothing but looked away and poked my food. "so was it sloppy? Or just a peck? " he asked again.

"s-…s-sloppy but he doesn't remember" I said and sighed.

"what! He should and you should have gone through the way" he said as he shook his head and waved his fork. "see I thought you that and you applied it!"

"I don't want that to hear from you! "

"but still imagine Hachi-chan underneath you all flustered and blushing a moaning and drooling mess as he begged for more while calling your name.." I let the words sink and process in my brain, sinful it is but my imaginative mind imprinted the image in my head as Delic's description took place and I repeated his words in my brain. _Roppi underneath me all flustered and blushing and moaning and a drooling mess as he begged me more while calling my name_ the imaged formed in my brain and I had to admit it turned me on as the blood rushed on my cheeks and as I realized that I was lusting over Roppi I pulled my scarf up to cover my face as I heard delic's voice.

"oh you're imagining it! Next is hear him say …'more..nn.. tsuki more harder!...nngh please harder! God mo—"  
the next thing I heard was a loud smack and thud peeking out I saw Delic's face collided with the table and behind him stood Shizuo with a roll of magazine. His eyes were furious and was growling.

"what did you say Delic? More? harder?"

"Shizuo…" delic said and looked behind him..

"I'll show you what harder means …" he grinned and raised the magazine.

"whoa! No that's violence and I could accuse you for harming your students! And the principal will call my guardian"

"idiot im your guardian! So it's fine to discipline you! Scaring Tsuki like that?!"  
"we are talking about first kiss and Tsuki had alre—" I immediately shot up and covered Delic's mouth with my hand and smiled nervously at Shizuo.

"Tsuki?" Shizuo growled but before I could say anything Delic but in and smiled. "at least we had our first kiss in high school unlike you! I bet Izaya is your first kiss and at what age? 24?" Delic grinned and jumped from his seat and ran away before hell broke loose. Shizuo charged and chased my brother and the last thing I head was Shizuo said. _"Fuck you Delic! We did it first in Highschool!"_

I sighed deeply walking out from the inn, it was already dark and I just need to calm myself before I go back to the room. I want to erase the vague picture that I created using Delic's sinful tongue, I sighed again, how many sighs did I made this day. I shook my head and sat down under a huge tree behind the inn bringing out my sketch pad I started to sketch a flower in my front a single white flower. Though I could only see my output in the light from the bright moon. after I finished the flower I scanned my pad again flicking each pages, I smiled warmly as I scanned my sketches most of them were Roppi, when I get the chance I always drew him, I admire his features and I love every part of it, especi-

"hey! Tsuki!" I flinched and shut my sketch pad as soon as I heard the voice that I adore.

"R-Roppi-san?! W-what are you doing h-here?" I clutched the pad on my chest, no Roppi must not see that I was drawing him, he might think I was some obsess weirdo.. but I think I am.

"should I be asking you the same question?" he looked down at me crossing his arms and then sat beside me.

"i-I just want some fresh air" I said and he nods looking around and tucking his knees up to his chest as he sighed "look about the bed maybe we can share it, it's rather big and im not that really moving much." My eyes widen, roppi would share the bed with me that is..new he never really shares. I smiled and looked at the sky as I listened to him continuing his talk until he hands me a new pair of glasses, but he wasn't looking at me I slowly took it and blinked in confusion.

"well, I saw that on the store in down stairs, I noticed a crack on your glasses on your fall earlier and.. it's a thank you gift about yesterday on staying with me" he said in a low voice as if he was afraid to let the words went out and I swear I saw him blush. I held the glasses and smiled I know my cheeks were burning as well I guess im the happiest person alive right now.

"th-thank you Roppi-san..i-I'll keep this s-safe I promise."

"tch.. don't make promises that you can't keep"  
I blinked and turned to face him shifting closer, he noticed it since he faced me as well.

"no.. I promise Roppi-san that I will do whatever he would say if it would make him h-happy" I saw his eyes widen and before he looked away.

"idiot are you really that stupid? Why would you do that?"

"because I l—" I bit my lips at the sudden confession, no I need to held back especially now that he is inter acting with me more I must not ruin it.

"because what?"

"be-because I l-like to see you happy"

"n..no one ever told me that.. but you don't have to"

"but I want to and ..and you can't do a-anything about it"  
he sighed and stood up already leaving.

"that's a promise!" I said and smiled, he never turned to look back at me but I know he heard me and the last thing I saw was Roppi's back disappearing in the shadows before I stood up and followed him looking at the moon above me with a smile, clutching my new precious glasses.


	10. Chapter 10: A Mindless Trap

_**Yay! I got two reviews it made me happy! Thank you **_RikkaPikaSnikka _**for the review don't worry I will try my best about the grammar and stuffs.. I hope you'll enjoy!**_

I looked up at the ceiling for five minutes after I woke up, I suggested that we share the bed cause it seems big and I don't move that much but then I regret it. I really did regret I only got a few hours of sleep by Tsuki's movement every twenty minutes, turning here and tossing there, moving here and shifting there. So now I woke up to find I was being used as a pillow. The blond's arms was drapped over my chest as well as his leg I was over my waist and I couldn't move! His heavy… with a sigh I pushed his leg and arm away and slipped out of his hold and slowly made it out of the bed. I shook his head as I stared at Tsuki's sleeping form, sheets were tangled on his leg due to constant moving.  
I even barely slept today aside from Tsuki's moving the room next to us was so noisy. Hibiya was screaming and cursing ugh! I made my to the bathroom and took a shower at least I may awaken my senses a bit. As I massaged my head I thought about the weird dream that I had. I was in a bathroom and someone was kissing me, it's just too weird to even think it was Tsuki. _Idiot! No of course not! _ I shook my head to dismiss such thought, but the feeling is too real and …and.. _gah just stop! _ I shook my head again and finished my shower, quickly dressing in black shirt and jeans. Passing through the bed I made a final glance at the blond and walked away.

Outside my door I saw a note and picked it up it was inside an envelope I shrugged Tsuki must have dropped it. I inspected the letter there was no name written on it.  
"oh, Hachi-chan!" I frowned hearing the nickname and turned to face Delic who was sitting outside his room.  
"why are you out there?"  
"heh~ Hibi-chan is mad at me so kicked me out last night" he stood up and dusted his clothes as he yawned.  
"so basically you slept outside?"  
"yep"  
"why are you putting up with Hibiya? I mean he clearly doesn't want you around."  
"well why should I answer that?"  
"because I asked"  
"well why is Tsuki putting up with you? " I paused at the question and walked away from him, I don't have to answer that question, I mean how should I know. I continued to walk and finally noticed the letter on my hand. I took a deep breath and opened the letter and I regret doing so. It's from the stalker or the person who was messing with me.

_looks like your enjoying your field trip, well right now I see the shock in your face while  
reading this. I enjoy watching over you, you little demon even that four eyes friend of  
yours. You two seemed to be close I figured. I wonder if I should be friends with him._

I gritted my teeth and clenched my fist; this bastard is trying to drag Tsuki. I looked around and saw someone turned around the corner, there was a male standing wearing a cap I can't make out his face but the smirk was visible without second thoughts I ran after him but he vanished on the hallway. _Could it be my hallucination? Is it kicking again now? _I shook my head and I saw him entered a certain room. Convincing that it wasn't my imagination I ran to that room and opened it, it was dark and I couldn't see anything, slowly I traced the wall in search of the light but I stepped on something that was shinny and picked it up until I turned out the lights and what I saw was the student I nearly stabbed three days ago, lying on the floor with… with blood all over him I glanced at the thing I picked up. A knife… _no! I didn't do it.  
_"Roppi?"  
I jumped at the calling of my name and turned around to see Izaya in the door way who easily closed and locked the door.  
"I din't do it! Izaya I didn't I swear!" I panicked and was trembling I swear I didn't do it  
"I know, I know calm down okay" he said as he slowly walked towards me. "drop the knife Roppi.."  
"I ..didn't do it…. I … I don't want to do it again… i.." I looked at him and gripped the knife. "you don't believe me? you don't believe me right?!"

earlier that time…. At a certain room

"good morning Shizu-chan~!" I smiled as I greeted my beloved monster who was still asleep straddling the blond and nudging him he stirred a bit before pushing me off the bed. I landed straight on the floor, ass first. "tch! It's a bit polite to say 'get off' you know!" I stood up and dusted my clothes as I made my way to the door.  
"hey, Iz… come here." He said and turned over to face me. I growled and went closer to him before pulling me down and captured my lips in a gentle kiss. "its really fun to tease you…. Good morning Iz" he smiled and rolled back to sleep again. I pouted but I feel fine already. Shizu-chan's been calling me nicknames as well, Izzy ,flea bag and my favourite, Iz. I smiled and went to the door.  
"sleep well Shi-chan!" I left our room and walked through the hall way greeting some of the students that was up early. Skipping around the hallway I saw Roppi ran across the other hallway.  
"ara~ Roppi-chan!" I called but he didn't hear me. I ran and followed him but he vanished along the hall and I slowly walked checking the rooms. Roppi is acting weird and I don't like the feeling here in my chest. I looked at the last room and as I peeked through that room my eyes widen at the sight of Roppi carrying a knife with a bloodied student. I can tell that the student was still alive by the breathing pattern he had.  
"Roppi?" I called out and he flinched by hearing it. My body quickly moved as I closed and locked the door behind me.  
"I din't do it! Izaya I didn't I swear!" he trembled as he looked at me.  
"I know, I know calm down okay" I said and slowly inched forward. . "drop the knife Roppi.."  
"I ..didn't do it…. I … I don't want to do it again… i.." I saw him gripped the knife "you don't believe me? you don't believe me right?!"  
I looked at him. This is bad, this is bad I keep repeating that mantra in my head I know that looks in his face and ive seen that years ago. It's the same looks that I don't want to see from him, it's scary, dangerous and insane.  
"of course I do!" I convinced him because he had to drop the damn knife befo—"uwah!" I dodged the attack that he made rolling over to the side just before the knife hit me. he still held on the knife and made another attack but I jumped through the table and landed behind him grabbing my handkerchief and placed over to his nose and I waited before he fell unconscious. I stared at his sleeping form before slipping the handkerchief back in my pockets. Well I don't know why I bought that with me. I cleaned the knife for possible prints.

I carried Roppi at my back and slowly made my way to his room, walking through the hallway I saw Tsuki on the floor , reaching out and searching for his glasses. I stared at him and stood in his front.

"Tsuki-chan! What happened?" I asked and picked his glasses while carrying Roppi behind me. I handed him his glasses and looked at him.  
"iza- Roppi-san! What happen?" he asked worriedly and inspected the sleeping raven behind me, I smiled and thought of a lie that I could blurt out.  
"ahh~ he fainted while talking with me he didn't had any breakfast"  
"but Roppi-san n-never really eat breakfast but he never fainted"  
"well he did now" I looked over at my shoulder then to the worried blond in my front. "here, take him he is heavy.."  
Tsuki took Roppi and carried him in bridal style. "take him to your room ..oh wait!" I smiled and grabbed my phone and suddenly took a picture of them after the flash the blond blushed and looked at me with wide eyes. "I-I-Izaya-san!" I smiled and waved bye to him. "take care of him ne.. bye bye!" I skipped around and looked at the photo, and the next thing I heard is a scream coming from the room earlier.  
"I need to figure this out" I murmured and headed to back to my room.

I placed the sleeping raven on the bed and stared at his face, he doesn't look comfortable like those times when I sketch him. I stroke his hair and smiled, he looks so adorable and I can't stop myself from adoring him even though how grumpy he is, I leaned closer and examined his face as I ran my fingers through his delicate skin I didn't noticed that I was inching closer and captured his lips slowly kissing it feeling his soft lips brushing against mine (_tsuki pervy na kaau ka!) _. it's addicting since the first time I kissed him I can't forget how it taste, im only confortable with Roppi I don't feel like I should be conscious when im with him, I could do what I want. I hovered over him and kissed his jaw down to his neck. Is it me or the room is getting hotter?.  
"ngh.."  
I froze and looked up to see if the raven was awake but thank god he is not, I wonder if I should continue or not. But it's a once in a lifetime chance to get this close to him, to be able to touch him. I decided to go on and ran my fingers through his raven locks as I kissed the crook of his neck.  
"nnn.." I perked up he was still asleep but his breath hitched for a moment as he leaned closer to my hand that was ruffling his hair , I kissed the crook of his again and was granted by the same reaction, I smiled. _This must be a sensitive spot to Roppi-san.  
_"nngh..Tsu..Tsuki"  
I immediately jerked up and sunk my face in my scarf, forget everything I said about being comfortable with him because right now I AM NOT. I looked at the raven but he was still asleep. I blinked for a moment he ..he called my name in his sleep.. it made me blush and happy. I grabbed my sketch pad and started to draw him waiting for those crimson eyes to flutter open.

In a certain room in the inn.

The faculty and teachers gathered around the table as they spoke about the incident that had happen to Nasugima. Shizuo along with Tsugaru and me who wasn't supposed to be there but was there. Well who knows they might need me because after all im an informant.  
"how was the boy" tsugaru asked calmly as he looked at the school nurse in the name of Namie Yagiri who was also working as a my part time secretary The brunette woman gave a sigh as she tugged her hair behind her ears. "he's fine the woulds aren't that deep but if he wasn't rushed he probably could have died due to blood loss. The weapon was knife judging the way it was used, the culprit did not intend to murder him."  
"this would bring a bad reputation to our school, who could have done this!" Shizuo said frustrated as he slammed his fist on the wooden table.  
"Shi-chan clam down" I murmured and smiled at him but instead I received a glare from him.  
"did you know anything about this?"  
"wha! What of course not! Why are you blaming me all of a sudden" I glared back at him, 'that's rude you know blaming your lover!" I scoffed and crossed my arms. "don't worry I'll find out what happen here I promise that " I said before leaving the place and took a walk on the hallway. The one who did this wants to frame Roppi , was that all the reason? Or he wants Roppi to be like that again… I can't properly think of this I need to talk to that guy! My footsteps echoed on the hall as I stride into Roppi and Tuskishima's shared room but to my surprise none was there.


	11. Chapter 11:The Shy Confession

"Where are you taking me!?" I spat at Tsukishima as he dragged me out of my room, he didn't reply instead he just continued to drag me outside the inn. I need to control myself now after what happened today in that room. I shuddered at the thought and recalled what happened, guilt flashed through me.  
_I almost stabbed izaya_ a sigh escaped my lips and finally reached my limit I grabbed my hands away from the blond and glared at him.  
"where are you taking me!?" I glared hard at him and crossed my arms. The blond slowly looked back at me clutching his sketch pad. "are you going to tell me or im leaving?" I spat out again and waited for his answer one minute passed, two..three..  
"im fucking leaving!" I spun around my heels and left but before I could make a step a hand grabbed my wrist that made me halt.  
"R..Roppi-san can you please b-bear for it, we'll be there in a few minutes.."Tsuki said and looked at me with pleading eyes. I glared at him, I hate surprises!, well not that im expecting he will surprise me or something… right? But it sounded like he wanted to show me something, like when you are dating and..no it is not a date and he just dragged you here because..because he will surprise you? Ugh! My brain is messed up.  
I flail my hands up in the air in irritation about my thoughts and about this situation.  
"just fucking tell me where!"  
"i-I cant it's a surprise so please j-just.."  
"why! Just ugh! Why are you doing this?! Tsuki why are you so being kind to me!" I yelled angrily before pushing him.  
"that's..i-I can't say why.."  
"WHY!? Just tell me! I keep pushing you away! I insulted you! Im hurting you! So why?!" I pushing him off making him take a step backwards. I just want answer ,why can't he tell me? I pushed him a bit rougher as he stumbled backwards losing his footing. he manage to stand still but dropped his sketch pad, the pad flipped open I looked down at the sketches which was….me? I looked at the pad and clenches my fist.  
"TSUKISHIMA! WHY!? ANSWER ME GODAMNIT!" I looked at Tsuki who was looking down hiding his eyes with his bangs and framed glasses shine in the bright sun.  
"I don't! I just ..gah if you are not talking then dont ta—" I froze in rant as I felt a tug and soft lips pressed against mine. My eyes widen in realization that Tsuki was kissing me and I felt my cheeks burn, it's so hot. And before I could make another blink the kiss ended, I looked at Tsuki with confusion , I tried to say something but my voice won't come out. The kiss was just so enthralling. I looked at Tsuki who just gave a warm smile though his cheeks were pink he looked at me and spoke without even stuttering.  
"that's the answer to your 'why' Roppi-san…."  
"tsuki.."  
"I love you"  
my eyes widen at the confession and blushed even more redder that the trim on my coat , I can't believe what I was hearing, somebody loved me? this can't be, nobody loved me and why Tsuki, what did he see in me? I don't deserve him..he's too ..too kind.  
"you..love me?"  
Tsuki fidgeted the ends of his scarf as he looked down his face became red like his eyes. "y-yes…I fell in l-love with Roppi-san when I first s-saw him and I could not stop thinking about y-you" he bent over and picked up his sketch pad and grabbed my hand..  
"w-would you still g-go with me?  
I looked at his hands and nods slowly, tsuki smiled and continued to walk dragging mebehind, the walk was silent . I could hear the humming of the birds, we are walking through the woods behind the inulen, actually this is a forbidden area and I can't believe of all students it would be tsuki to break that rule, I looked at tsuki's back as we walked and continued to contemplate, why? Why do Tsuki love me, imgood for nothing … for the first time in my left I remained silent and confused at the same time.

"were here" he announced and let go of my hand finally, I looked at the place and blinked a couple of times. I looked at the lake in my front and a grassy field with some flowers it was a beautiful place and quite the suns brightness reflected at the lake.  
"beautiful i-isnt it?" Tsuki said and smiled as he starts walking towards the small rundown cottage. I just nodded in agreement and followed the blond looking at the place.  
"how did you find this place?" I asked as I started a conversation as if nothing happened earlier, as if he didn't kiss me, as If he didn't confess.  
"I saw it from our w-window, since it's in second floor i-its shinning and went to chek it t-this morning" the blond smiled at me and continued to walk. I just shrugged and gave really no attention at what he was saying, I touched my lips and blushed as I remembered the kiss, it was warm and…and the feeling is familiar.. as if I felt it before? I shook my head violently and slapped my face, im thinking weird things.  
"a-are you alright R-Roppi-san?" he asked as he climbed up the cottage and sat on the floor.  
"i..im fine" I followed and stared at the place, it was a small rundown cottage with a broken table and chairs,nothing much was there. The silence was killing me and I kept glancing at the blond beside me who in turn was glancing at me as well, when our gazes meet I quickly avoid my eyes at him and looked at the corner of the room pretending to think that there was something interesting in there. I clenched my fists and took a deep breath and broke the silence.  
"Tsuki…"  
"Roppi-san.."  
we both said in union.  
"e-eh go first Roppi-san.."  
"no you go first"  
"b-but I want Roppi-san to do so"  
"I said you first..  
"but—"  
"JUST SAY IT FIRST!"

He flinched a bit as I raised my voice, I crossed my arms and stared at the broken and open door in my front. It took a while until the blond spoke.  
"a-about what I said earlier" his voice was soft and low as he said that, I looked at him and saw the blush he was trying to hide with his scarf but failed to do so.  
"y-yeah what about it?" I cursed at my reply _ I was fucking stuttering like the idiot beside me!_ I calmed myself as I waited for his reply.  
"i-I meant w-what I said, i-im not j-joking"I raised my brow and blushed. I notice that Tsuki was stuttering much more than the usual.  
"I don't care, whatever" I waved my hands as if im brushing the topic off, im also praying that I wasn't blushing so to avoid the further question I turned away. I waited for Tsuki's next reply which it took so long. Until finally her said his response

"j-just forget that I said that"


	12. Chapter 12: And we made our kiss

_**/hello everyone! yay im so happy i got three more reviews! im so sorry if it took long and for the grammar and the ooc please bear with it... and thank you for those who continued to read and for those who reviewed i love you all! **_

"j-just forget I said that"

I said those words before I noticed it, Roppi was looking at me like ive lost my mind as he raised one brow and continued to stare, seriously I don't know if my confession was good or did I said something that offended him for staring at me like that , fidgeting my scarf and looking at Roppi, I noticed that his stare became a glare and his brows furrowed a small blush was on his cheeks and I find really cute, until I heard him growl.

"why the fuck are you telling this?! First you ..you said you .. you confessed! Then now you are telling me that I should just forget about it!" I stared at roppi with wide eyes he was furious.

"im s-sorry.. I just thought that i-it would be better" I reasoned out, well I really thought it must be better for him to forget what I said he seemed rather…

"why did you even say that? It's not something that you could forget"  
"you s-seemed to be un interested a-about it"  
I glanced at him as he fell silent hugging his knees and buried his chin on it and looked at the small pond outside.

"it's not that im not interested.. it's just .. just .. I need time to think about it" he murmured. I feel my hope flew through the skies at least he didn't reject me now and then right? I scooted a bit closer to him just a bit and smiled.

"I'll wait.. no matter how long it will be". Roppi looked at me and blushed before turning away. _Roppi-san kept on blushing since I confessed _I thought .

"sorry I just can't bring myself to believe it, are you really sure? I mean you might avoid me if you knew what I really am.. "

"why? Are you not a human?" I smiled to lighten up his mood it's a lame joke I know.

"tsuki im being serious here" he rolled his eyes and sighed.

"im s-sorry I was just trying to cheer you up"

"well its lame! Don't attempt"

"I don't care what y-you are before , I'll accept it"  
roppi rubbed his temples as he looked at me with sad gleam on his eyes. I hate that look, I don't like seeing him like that it was the same look I saw when I first laid my eyes on him.

"you don't understand" he murmured and looked down. I gently took his hand and smiled rubbing the slender fingers and looked at him. "let me understand it then". Another blush made its way on Roppi's cheeks and he looked away, I didn't know roppi could be so fluster about small things and gestures.

"my mother and I lived together for about 7 years, I never saw or knew who my father is they say he was a Orihara but im not sure who. But I don't care really im glad to have my mother she was so kind and loving until one day he introduced me to a man and said that he was going to be my father.." I listened as Roppi continued to his story, his hands were fidgeting his jacket. "he was a doctor and a good man, however my mother died in an accident so I was being left to him, then I found out he already had a family of his own and was just using my mother he took me to his house and lived there along with his wife,daughter and son. So I thought im going to have a real family but it was just one big fat lie" I blinked as Roppi stood up and went out the small rundown cottage and glared at the small lake, I blinked again and stood up following him, I thought it might be better if I don't push the topic further and stood beside him.

"t-the lake looks so good" I smiled and fixed my scarf as I glanced at roppi who was now starring at the lake.

"i.. it's my first time to see a lake… in real.. I mean real lake" he said and sighed.

"eh? Really?" I asked and tilted my head.

"yeah, I bet you seen lots of this right? The things mother nature shows the human, her wonderful resources whose also being destroyed by such filthy creatures" he shook his head and continued to stare at the peaceful lake.

"y-yeah ive seen lots of this, but so far this i-is what I l-like" I raised my hand and was looking for a good angle moving my index finger and thumb I smiled. "y-yes this is good in canvas" I looked at him and noticed that he was staring at me, Roppi slowly trailed his eyes back to the lake and bent down to pick a stone throwing it into the lake. The stone landed with a plop and he sighed in content.

"i-its refreshing isn't it?" I asked and looked at Roppi as he went near the lake and took of his shoes pulling his jeans up to his knees. "wh-what are you doing? Roppi-san?!" I asked quite alarm as I looked at him. Roppi took off his jacket.

"im going to swim" he said and started walking to the water .

"R-Roppi-san that is dangerous! What if it was deep?"

"then you should have considered that before you took me here" he replied and crossed his arms, I scratched the back of my head, well he got a point but still its dangerous and no one knew where we are. I sighed and focused on the raven as he slowly walked to the lake.

"w-wait Roppi-san!" I called and ran towards him to stop him further, but my scarf flew and covered my face as I ran, I blindly continued trying to take the scarf away when I heard a voice.

"Tuski look out!"

"wha?!" but it was too late I felt a rock hit my foot and I stumbled, I closed my eyes even though the scarf was blinding my sight already I just waited for the impact of hard ground but instead I heard a loud splash and the next thing I knew I was already on the lake.

i looked at Tsuki as he fell straight to the lake, after he stumbled on the rock he made three long stride with his long and slender legs in the water maybe trying to balance himself but unluckily ended up in the lake, the fall was… epic.. really epic, he faced down on the water and it created a loud splash. I covered my mouth and looked at him as he sat up the scarf resting on his head and looked at me luckily he still had his glasses.

"ppfft.."

he looked at me and blushed probably embarrassed. I covered my mouth in an attempt to stop the threatening laughter to spill but I couldn't every time the scene played in my mind.

"pffft!..AHAHAHAHAHA! you! You look like a frog that leaped in the water with a bad landing HaHAHAHA that was funny!" I continued to laugh and wiped the tears leaking the corners of my eyes, then I realized something , how long has it been since I laughed like that? I can't remember really and it made happy that I was able to feel that feeling of happiness bubbling in my stomach, just because of Tuski's epic act. I looked at Tsuki and stopped laughing as he smiled at me and took off his scarf and vest.

"what?" I snapped and looked at him.

"n-nothing, im sorry about what happened" he said and tossed the discarded scarf and vest on the ground as he unbuttoned the collar on his shirt. I stared at him for a long time as I took all I see in the blond, he was sitting on the lake his hair damp and was dripping, his white button up shirt is sticking on his body and then quickly the sight of him on the shower once again invaded my brain, my blood rushed quickly to my cheeks and quickly turned away.

"hah! That was lame! Very lame"

"y-your being mean R-Roppi-san" he said and smiled fixing his glasses, I looked back at him and saw he extended his hand. "help p-please?" he smiled and looked at me. I rolled my eyes and took his hand to push him up instead he pushed me down the water.

"wah!" I closed my eyes as I hit the water, my clothes are soaked "ugh!" I slowly open my eyes and was surprised to see Tsuki's face inches away from me, I stared at his crimson eyes and finally noticed that I was straddling his right leg while our body was pressed together as I held on his shoulders. My cheeks burned bright red, it's my first time to be this close to another person, and we stared at each other for a long time, Tsuki is so handsome, his red eyes , blond locks I stared at his face studying him, especially when he is closer so close. Wiat? Close?

I blink as I felt pair of soft lips pressed against mine then I realized Tsuki was kissing me I widen my eyes a blush creeping out from my ears until i stopped to think things and melted in Tsuki's arms returning the kiss reluctantly, I shivered when I felt Tsuki licked my lower lip asking for entrance. Which I granted I gasped as Tsuki ran his hand on my back his fingers hot on my clod skin. without hesitation Tsuki starts to explore my mouth, I slowly rested my hand on his hair tangling my fingers on the wet blond locks, I felt him shudder as the kiss became tense, fierce and sloppy. I pressed our body closer, somehow I had the feeling that I know this sensation very well, it's calming.  
"ngh!.." a groan escaped my lips as I widen my eyes when Tsuki moved his leg and rubbed between my leg.

"s-sorry I didn't mean to do that" he said as we parted, noticing that im not comfortable about it, I looked at him searching for something to cover his face but he forgot he threw his scarf away. _This shy ball is a damn good kisser_. I blushed and looked down.

"its fine just don't move for a moment" I replied and looked away.

"R-Roppi-san can I kiss you again?" he asked shyly looking down as he asked, my cheeks were in flames again and nods. Smiling he leaned once again and captured my lips in a passionate kiss pulling my body close to him, I tilted my head as he nipped at my jaw and licked my neck, slipping his hand under my shirt and rubbed my back. "nn. Tsu..ki.." I half moaned and looked at him lapping at my neck I pushed him away as he was about to bite. "wait!, just hang in there for a sec.." I panted and tried to calm my breathing and looked at Tsuki stared at me lustfully.

"what's w-wrong? D-did I do something wrong?" he asked and blinked.

"no, I mean don't mark me they will notice it, specially izaya"

"so we will not c-continue?"

"of course! Why did you even have to ask, it's obvious I want you to stop" I glared at him and he shifted his position and tried to move his right leg where I am sitting, making me moan at the friction "damn…"

"R-Roppi-san y-your h-hard!"

"ah jeez! I know that! You don't have to announce it you know!" I pushed myself away from him and sat across him.

"anyways im wondering."

"w-wondering?"

"how can somebody as shy as you know how to do those stuff, hell it was like you really know what you are doing" I said as I played in the water cupping some water, not noticing the blond who was already red as his eyes.

"it.. well i-I that was…"

"don't explain! It will take us hours to hear your explanation" I smiled at him.

"did I do it bad?"

"no.. you did quite well… so unfitting on your personality , is that Deic's influence?"  
he scratched his head and smiled "w-well yeah.."  
I splashed him some water and laughed. "you look like you were about to melt" I said and smiled. i stood up and thought maybe it's better to enjoy this peace for a moment.


	13. Chapter 13: jealousy is lame

_**yay! i give you the chapter thirteen of this fic! im so damn happy for the positive reviews **_**I****zayaHeart _ i once again thank you, for the review also _AwakingMusic _and _Supremmebunnylord _ you really inspired me because i seriously started to slack off in writing this so thank you~ and once again forgive my grammar im still trying to be a good writer so please enjoy._**

The sun was already starting to set and I looked beside me where Roppi was walking, we are heading back to the cottage the walk made our clothes less wet, I glance at him at the same time and I can still feel his lips on mine, this was the best day not because I confessed, I got to kiss the raven, no.. he finally saw him laugh and smile. Im so happy I was the reason why he smiled and laughed even though I had to stumble and dove in the lake it was worth it. _Finally, I can finally do it._ I thought and smiled, I can't wait to get back.

"WHERE THE HELL DID THE TWO OF YOU GO!" Shizuo's roar at the main door bombarded, I started to fidget at my scarf as I looked down, I completely forgot about the time and I can't give a proper excuse.

"i-I well w-we just –just…."

"we went sightseeing" Roppi said and raised a brow as he looked at Shizuo.

"Sightseeing huh? really?" SHizuo growled and glared at them.

"well, you didn't said sightseeing is not allowed right? So there is nothing wrong with it right?" Roppi said and rolled his eyes before grabbing my wrist as he stormed towards our room and smiled as he ran upstairs.

"Ro-roppi-san?"

"did you see Shizuo's face? It was hilarious " he said as we walked towards the hallway.

"you a-are making fun of him" I said and smiled as I followed him.

"well Shizuo is fun to make fun with, izaya is right all along" he giggled as he opened the door. I smiled, his giggle was so cute. "R-Roppi-san, you seemed to be in a good mood today" I smiled and closed the door behind me, roppi blinked and then sat on the bed.

"well, I don't know, your influence perhaps?" he took off his jacket and lay down on the bed stretching his limbs I even heard it make a loud crack.

"oops" he murmured and rolled over into his stomach "I'm still a little wet" he added and twirled a strand of his raven locks. I smiled and threw my scarf away as I hovered over his body, pressing myself to his back as I rested my head on his nape.

"oi you are heavy" he said and looked back at me with a raised brow.

"im tired, c-can I rest here?"

"well if you are planning to cause me a fracture on the spine, no. and no im not going to sleep beside you anymore, you sleep like a kid! Trashing here, moving there ugh.."

"im s-sorry"  
he rolled his eyes as he checked if his phone is still working. I rested my chin on his shoulder and looked at the phone. "does it w-work still?" I said and I felt him shudder underneath me maybe because my lips are so near on his ears.

"y..yeah luckily" he blushed and looked back to his phone again.

I don't understand, roppi hadn't answered me yet, but im also wondering why he was allowing me to do these things with him, maybe he likes me as well right? You won't allow somebody to just lick your ear right? But im fine with it at least like I always say, he didn't reject me.

"nnn.. tsuki.." he mewled as I licked his lobe, for once and for all I can't control myself from this desire, I used to control myself, but then I can't, I just wanted roppi so bad now delic's words rushed back in my brain, I would really love to see that sight underneath me, a panting and breathless blushing raven-  
"ahh!"  
roppi's moan snapped me out of my thoughts I accidentally rubbed my knee between his legs again.

"so-sorry!" I sat up and scratches my head, I know I shouldn't go beyond that point.

"God tsuki! That was second time now!" he sneered and rolled his eyes.

"should I s-stop or continue?" I asked awkwardly as he looked at me, he was a bit fighting with his answer opening his mouth and closing it again as he gulped.

"if you d-don't want its-"

"no, i..i want you to co-"

KNOCK!

my head turned towards the door as well as well as Roppi, there was another loud knock, for the first time in my life I glared hard at the wooden door, if my glare could strangle the person behind that door.

"I'll get it" I growled and stood up pushing myself up from the comfortable position, opening the door my irritation tripled when I saw Delic standing there with a smirk as wide as a Cheshire cat if possible and the looks he had was something…. Something like 'I know something'. Realizing something I started to pale, did he?

"De-delic? W-what are you doing here?"

"ohhh~ nothing I was just going to say that we are leaving now, so you should pack up"

"ah.. i-I see.."

"why? Did I disturbed something?" he smiled and poked his head inside to see Roppi fiddling with his phone nervously. "yo Hachi-chan~"

"what?" roppi glared at him "how long have you been there?"

"why? Is that really important of how long I am outside?" delic crossed his arms.

"no not really" roppi shot back.

"i-is that all you have to tell?" I asked wanting delic to leave, I feel so awkward already. Delic rubbed his chin and smiled "oh well there is this one… the walls on this inn are so thin, i can hear anything from the outside, so you better both do it quitely~"

"wha?!" I stood there embarrassed and roppi was blushing though he was trying to hide it.

"so I'll be going then!" he smiled and strolled towards his own room but before entering he mimicked something.

"God tsuki! That was second time now!" then he chuckled before entering his own room.

I slowly closed the door and blushed in embarrassment then I heard roppi said something.

"I want to die"

The thing with Delic earlier was so embarrassing! Oh god I can't look at him now, I kept avoiding my gaze at Delic as we climbed the bus, with the same arrangement I stood and waited for tsuki who was still looking for his sketchpad in the room, cheking my watch I smiled as I recalled what happen today, aside from the part of delic's appearance.

"Pi-chan~!" I turned and was greeted by psyche who attached himself to me and smiled with that sweet attitude of his, if im not in the mood I would have disliked it.

"hello psyche" I smiled and patted his head. Psyche didn't said anything aside from tilting his head and looked at me as if I grew another head.

"what?"

"hmm.." he detached him self away from me and took a step back before looking at me from head to toe for a couple of times before he placed his hand on my forehead. "Pi-chan is not sick right?" he pouted and tilts his head. I scoffed and rolled my eyes.

"seriously? why would I be sick?"

"did something good happen?"

"how can you say so?"

"because…" psyche smiled then tapped his chin "Pi-chan didn't do this.." he backed away and glared as he said  
" 'what the fuck psyche! Get off me!' " he snarled and turned to his side "or the 'I said don't cling on me!' or the one I like which goes like this" he turned to the other side and and pointed a finger at me as he glared. "'do that again or I'll kill you!'"

I stared at psyche as he glared and then his face soften into a smile "instead pi-chan said hello to pyche, that's weird and even patted Psyche's head" he smiled and twirled."tsk, really psyche?, so you want me to snarl at you now? I don't want to ruin my good mood today okay?" I said and crossed my arms before climbing up the bus and saw Hibiya fixing his things on his seat, he looked up to me and smiled before handing me a box.

"what's this?" I raised a brow and took the box shaking it lightly. It was wrapped with a golden ribbon like Hibiya's eyes. Hibiya just shrugged.

"well somebody gave that to me, and I don't like it , so im giving it to you ,its yours"

"what is 'this'"

"chocolate"  
I raised my brow and shook the box again. "but I don't like sweet things you should have just gave it to psyche"

"you are the first who walked in thought, just give it to somebody else then.." he shrugged again and closed his bag as he looked at me. "seems you are in a fine mood, because if you aren't you should have ignored my offer seeing you are not interested in things such as this"  
I sighed and tossed the box in the air before catching it and went back to my seat and stared at the box, opening it I saw the different flavours of chocolate. _Ugh to sweet _. looking up I saw Tsuki made his way towards me, I shut the lid of the box and looked at him as he sighed and sat down, breathing hard as was sweating so bad as he set his bag down.

"did you find it?"  
he smiled at me and nods "y-yes, it was under the bed" I starred at him, his breathing was still harsh and the sweat on his brows trickled down to his cheeks and dissolved as it touched the fabric of his scarf that was up to his chin. I grimace as I looked at his scarf, _why the hell is he wearing it in the first place? The weather is so damn hot! And he still cling into that fabric! _I rubbed the bridge of my nose before yanking the scarf away from him and the blond was to shock that his hand clutches protectively at his scarf and yanked it back "no!" he raised his voice a bit as he gripped the scarf.

"Tsuki pry it off! Its so hot! And wearing this while you ran from here I wasn't surprise that you didn't faint"

"p-please roppi-san don't take it" he looked at me with those stupid crimson eyes as he still trying to catch his breath. I looked away and gripped it harder.

"it is for your own good too! You don't wear this very much when you are with me what's the difference?"

"th-that's the difference, it's b-because im with you, i-I feel comfortable" he said and looked at me, but the sweat that was still trickling on his brows didn't falter my decision. "I thought you will do what I want you to do? Well then prove it to me, take this scarf away and unbutton two of your buttons on your shirt so that you can breath properly!" I know it is rude to blackmail him but I need to do it or else he will faint soon as I noticed the redding cheeks of his. Looking at him I smiled, he won't do it anyway, this scarf is part of him that he can't abandon that easily but then he slowly let go of his tight grip and took the scarf away, I stared in disbelief as started to unbutton his shirt as I said, he closed his eyes and leaned back on his seat as he started to even his breathing. I continued to stare, why didn't noticed earlier that Tsuki's neck was so pale and delicate, it feels like if you are going to touch it, it will crack. I looked away and fidgeted his scarf, glancing at Tsuki I noticed as he ran a hand on his neck in a manner of covering it. I planned to return it when he is breathing normally again for all I know I think he had asthma or something, im not quite sure. I looked up and notices the stare of the students as they pass through our seat all was was raising a brow at Tsuki probably wondering who was sitting beside me , especially when he took off his glasses and cleaned it. I looked at Tsuki and then to the coming giggling girls which was Yukima Akiko, I heard my self growl as she and her friends stop in their tracks to stare at Tsuki.

"eh? Tsuki-kun?"  
Tsuki automatically looked up even though he didn't have his glasses, I swear I saw Yukima blush, Tsuki put on his glasses and blinked before looking up again.

"uh-uh Yukima-san?" I looked at him as he ran his hand on his neck scratching it uncomfortably.

"you don't have a scarf?" she said and stared at Tsuki as if she was undressing him especially when she trailed her gaze down his chest. I clenched the scarf so hard, why the hell is she giving that stare? Im so pissed really pissed, I don't know why I just feel like it was a wrong idea for letting Tsuki take his scarf and expose the most hidden skin he had into other people aside from me! I gritted my teeth and shoved the scarf into tsuki's face.

"here! You can have it back! Put it on!" I snarled and looked out the window crossing my arms,

"that's rude Roppi" she said and looked at Tsuki, as she bent and fixed his scarf for him. _ Oh no she's not doing that!_

"excuse me?! I didn't gave you the permission to call me on my first name, and could you move out of the way! People wants to get to their seats while you are blocking their path with your ass!" I snarled and leaned back with a thump on my seat, seriously my mood was back to its original state.

"i-its alright Yukima-san I c-can do it my self"

"yeah, sure, he's not a baby anymore, put it back Tsuki!" I glared at him as he wrapped it back around his neck.

_Why do I have the feeling im the only one who is allowed to see that?_

Yukima sighed and crossed her arms as she proceeded to walk smiling at Tsuki.

"ugh" I scoffed and looked at tsuki who was smilling . "what!?"

"nothing" he smiled again and stretches before he looked back at me and leaned close

"i-I think Roppi-san is jealous"


	14. Chapter 14: A New Start?

Chapter 14

"i-is roppi-san jealous"

"wha! Are you stupid?! Im not jealous why would I be in the first place?! Doesn't that little mind of yours have something better to say!" I growled and crossed my arms facing the window and scoffed, seriously why in the world would I be jealous like a high school girl? That is ridiculous.

"i-im sorry I was just t-trying to light up the mood?" Tsuki said as if he was asking me, I rolled my eyes and growled

"well it's not!" I kept looking at the window trying to calm myself when an annoying voice shoot through my ears.

"ah~ I even thought that Roppi here is already having a bright mood~"  
I looked at izaya who was kneeling on his seat to face us as he rested his elbows on the seat, I rolled my eyes to show him im not interested.

"aww~ roppi-chan is being grumpy again" he smirked and ruffled my hair.

"don't destroy my mood further!" I yelled and leaned on the seat not minding the stares of the other students.

"oi! Hachimen roppi! Could you at least minimize your yelling" shizuo said as he looked to us "don't forget your homeroom teacher is sitting in your front" he added and glared.

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms "yeah along with your annoying lover"

"that, I won't argue" he smiled and shrugged, I glance and saw Izaya's pout and smirks.

"so mean Shizu-chan~ how could you treat your lover like that and.. how could you treat your students like that 'oi' 'you' 'hey' , you were supposed to be saying 'Mr. or Ms.' Jeezz.. I wonder how you passed your licensure exam"

"are you going to shut up or I'll throw you out of the bus huh!" Shizuo growled grabbing izaya by the collar, I smirked at the scene as the bus started to move.

"excuse me, those people who are causing commotion could you please keep your voice down"

I whipped my head and saw Tsugaru smiling at us but it was a different kind of smile, the one that you need to shut up. The four us looked away, I always fear Tsugaru for some reason his calmness is one that I could not take, I don't know.. it's like he is so calm in no matter what situation. So I wonder what could be the stone to stir a calm lake. Now that I think about it, it was his first time to raise voice at me, when I push psyche down.

"roppi-san? Y-you ok?"

I blinked and looked at Tsukishima's curious face. "im fine" I said and looked back to the window, now the events this morning flashed back to me. The letter, the room with Nasugima what is going on? This stalker of mine does he has something to do with my past? Is he? He knew everything but who could it be? I – no .. no one was left I made sure of that..because i.. im sure I-

"Roppi"

"wha?" I blinked and looked down seeing Tsuki's hand wrapped around my hand, my heart beat skipped and I slowly looked up to meet the gaze of the blond smiling at me.

"everything will be fine" he said and pushed back some of my hair, my cheeks immediately heated up, from Tsuki's voice, touch and smile, noticing his actions I jerked away and faced the window instead but I could still feel Tsuki's fingers that was intertwining with mine the small circles he was making with the back of my hand as he scooted closer to me. I blushed and took the box that Hibiya gave me and handed it to him.

"w-what's this?" he asked and took the box shaking it lightly

"chocolates hibiya gave that to me, and I don't really like chocolates so… I figured you might like it" I looked back at the window and remained silent for the rest of the ride back home. Tsuki on the other hand fell asleep, his head hanging and he would startle waking up every time the bus would bump and its cute looking at his face. Tsk! im thinking things again, looking back at the window I sighed and waited until we reached the school it's already seven.

Everyone hopped out of the bus without me knowing, i slowly blinked as I felt someone tugging me.

"oi! Tsuki!" I heard a familiar voice and rubbed my eyes behind my glasses and looked at the person in my front. "r-roppi-san?"

"gah! Who else! Are you going out or what?" he snarled and grabbed his things before passing me and headed to the door, I looked around and realized I was the only one left, stretching my numb legs and arms, I sigh and grabbed my things and went out of the bus, carrying the box of chocolate Roppi gave me. I smiled to myself before I felt an arms wrapped around my shoulder.

"so~ did hachi-chan enjoy it?"

I looked at Delic who was smiling like an idiot, I just shook my head and sighed "n-nothing happened you p-pervert" I said and looked down.

"oh come on Tsukishima-niisan I know what I heard behind that door~ " he smiled, I stopped on my tracks and looked at him, remembering he interrupted my earlier moment with Roppi, my look became a glare and finally spoke. "if you know something then shut your mouth" I said and continued to walk.

"ehh really tsuki you really frighten me when you talk straight" he smiled and I just sighed looking down at the box I had and looked at Delic.

"oh d-do you want some? It's delicious" I said and held the box in his face. He looked at it for a moment before he widen his eyes and took the box away from my grasp.

"this! How did you get this?!"

"i- r-roppi-san got I from hibiya and g-gave it to me" I said and smiled but I noticed the frown on delic's face as he looked at the box and sighed. "wh-whats wrong?"

"he really hates me don't he?" he sighed and tossed the box away as hard as he could that it flew through the other side of the town perhaps, delic uses his strength often so he had practice. "I really should stop pushing myself to him, maybe its for the better, what do you think Tsuki?" he asked and lowered his head phones to his neck and starts to walk away.

"Delic, you just need to understand him" I smiled and started to walk back to my dorm waving goodbye to delic and looked up at the moon. Walking back I was really excited, I just need to drop my things and go to my rented studio I need to paint something, I need to do it now, not tomorrow, not the next day, but now!. I paused as I looked behind im sure I heard something, I can even feel eyes staring at me, but I ignored it probably my imaginative mind. Reaching the dormitory I smiled and hurried to my room, fishing the key into my vest pocket and unlocked the door and hurried inside pausing when I saw the raven who was down pulling his sweat pants a towel hung on his bare shoulder, his hair dripping wet. I stared at his bare chest and looked away a blush forming on my cheeks and was trying hard not to pound into him.

"wow, could you at least knock first even if it was our room" he said and set the glass of water on the table and sat on his bed. I bowed curtly and headed to my own bed. "so-sorry I'll do it next time" I set my bag and sketchpad down and took off my scarf and folded it neatly and stood up grabbing myself a glass of water looking at roppi.

"r-roppi-san you are so insensitive" I said and looked down gripping the glass.

"hah! What the hell are you talking about? I was just sitting here and doing nothing and you are calling me insensitive?" he growled and glared at me.

"because y-you are"

"what the fuck!" He stood up and crossed his arms "and how can you say so? But never mind im always insensitive it's nothing new" he scoffed and was about to walk away but I grabbed his wrist. "what!"

"you know I like you right?- no I love you! " I tried to stop myself but can't, I can't stop myself. "and you ..you.. j-just walk around like that i-in my front"

"tsuki?"

"y-you make me lose my mind, l-lose all the control I had .. making me the person that I wasn't" I slowly pulled him close to me "you made me like this… like how I could .. " I saw the confusion on Roppi's eyes and I can't back out now, closing our distance I captured his lips once again, he flinched but soon mewl in the kiss. Tongue battling each other I roam my hands on his bare chest as we fell on his bed. His breathing hitched as he started to lick his neck.  
"Hachimen Roppi do d-do you want to be with an idiot like me?" I looked at him. He looks away a bit blushing.

"i.. I can't answer that still"

"i-it's fine I understand im i-im sorry for forcing myself to you" I pushed myself away from him and was about to stand when he dragged me down. "no! I mean .. t-tomorrow I'll give you my answer tomorrow"

I smiled and kissed him again, but this night was different. That I didn't even know or I didn't even expect that Delic's words would rang back to me. _Roppi underneath me all flustered and blushing and moaning and a drooling mess as he begged me more while calling my name_, the faces he made was better than my imagination, the crimson blush spreading on his cheeks up to his ears, sweat trickling down on his brow his messy raven hair sticking everywhere, the heat of his body that was pressed against mine, his moans and cries of pleasure was ringing my ears as he called my name in and endless mantra. "tsuki.. nn tsuki… tsukishima..". his crimson lust filled eyes staring at me as he pleaded and begged for more, how his slender and pale body trembled when he reached his limit. Even now I could still hear his moans in my ears.  
I blushed deep red as i buried my chin on my scarf. I was currently walking to my studio leaving the raven alone, I really don't want to leave him, but I need to do the painting today, it was going to be in the exhibit tomorrow so I need to finish it today. Everything is so perfect today, best night ever if I migh-

I paused and looked back having the feeling of being followed again but shrugged it off instead I hurried straight to the studio where I saw my former teacher standing on the doorway.

"w-wait! Matsui-sensie!" I ran and saw the old man unlocking the door and smiled.

"I thought you won't be coming today I was about to close the studio"

"sorry, s-something came up" I said and scratched the back of my head as I went inside and being followed by him.

"I also thought you are not joining this month, did you finally saw it?"

"yes.. i-im glad I did"

"well, I'll leave you then" he said and left. I looked back at him and then to the place dropping my bag on the floor and my scarf as well as my vest. Walking towards the white canvas that was already being prepared, really matsui-sensie should have not troubled himself, rolling the sleeves of my white button up I smiled at the blank canvas already picturing the outcome of it.

"there's work to be done"

"bbbbbzzzzzzzzzz….bbbbzzzzzzzzzzzz…" I angrily groaned and covered my head with a pillow, hearing the annoying buzz of the alarm clock, seriously who the hell turned the alarm clock on? I don't own one its annoying. I figured its better to ignore it, but each time it buzz it was torture, especially when I don't want to get up because my whole body hurts like hell especially my back and I still feel light headed. with my eyes still closed I threw the pillow on the direction of the sound and heard it broke down the floor. Still groaning I opened my eyes slowly and looked around. I was still in room huh? looking at the opposite bed where the beddings are neatly placed, I buried my face in the sheets as the events of last night took over my mind. "tsuki…". His gentle touches sending jolts into my body, his blond hair and crimson lust filled eyes staring at me, I can even feel the trail of his kisses and his grunts moaning my name. and the feeling of him inside me was..was…" SHIT! Why does the idiot blond so good in bed!" I groaned and hit the bed with my fist "who the fuck says he was innocent and shy! I clearly did not see that from him last night… ugh! He knows.. what he was doing… " I sighed and sat up wincing at the pain on my back and ass, yes thank you very much. "I really am going to slit his throat open…" speaking of slit, I haven't cut myself in a long time now. I glanced at my wrist where fading scars can be seen, he kissed this last night. Looking at the bedside table I saw a folded white paper and stared at it. No.. did my stalker? How? How come? Feeling the chills ran on my bare skin I slowly reached for it and unfolded it but instead of words or insults there was nothing but a drawing. A sketch of a sleeping person, his features were calm and his raven hair sticking everywhere and his bare shoulders were revealed under the blankets. I didn't know I could sleep like that in peace. In the corner of the paper tsuki's name was written on it, flipping the paper there was a note.

_Roppi-san sorry for leaving you, there is something I really need to do and its important.  
I apologize for that, and also I apologize for leaving the alarm clock on, I just want to make  
sure you wake up early because I can't wake up today, don't worry I'll clean the broken pieces  
on the floor when I return, again I apologize. And….. I will wait for your answer._

Tsukishima

a blush made its way to my cheeks as I stared at the sketch again folding it neatly I placed it on my drawer and went inside the bathroom to go on shower I can still smell Tsuki's scent on me. looking at the mirror I was glad he was smart enough not to leave any marks on me.

I need to think about my answer. Tsuki is special to me and I don't want to lose him, he makes me feel weird, he is human I should hate him but I can't find the courage to do so. Perhaps there is an exemption right? Perhaps I could try being with him, its not bad right? It won't bring harm if I try. Smiling I went out of the dorm and was currently walking towards the school, the hallway where students stare at me didn't even become noticeable to me anymore, all I want to do now is see tsuki and tell him my answer, I decided its for the better. Humming something I open my locker and saw a note, maybe tsuki left something for me. opening it the contents was different than what I was expecting.

_ I have a surprise for you~ im sure you will like it…._

Simple but it bought chills on my body, gripping the note I heard a sound of footsteps in fast pace.

"ROPPI!"

looking to the side I saw Psyche catching his breath as he ran to me. "what?"

"Tsuki! .. Tsuki is in the hospital!"


	15. Chapter 15: It finally ended

_**Hello its me again~ yay thank you for the reviews ~ you guys made me happy i hope you continue to read this .. thanks a lot here please enjoy!**_

"Tsuki! .. Tsuki is in the hospital!"

My legs felt like it was about to give up while I processed the news I heard and stayed there for a moment, how? Why? Who would do such thing- wait! I crushed the letter on my fist as I dragged Psyche with me.

"pi-chan!"

"where is the idiot?!" I said and ran through the corridor.

"i.. I can't breathe! Your hand are so tight! Ne!"

"I said where he is!" Tightening my grip on the his wrist as I flew through the stairs, hearing psyche's harsh breathing and protest. "pi-chan! My hand hurts! S-stop! Haa.. please stop I can't keep up any…anymore!"

"then tell me where the fuck he is!"

"in the ho..hospital near the..wes..t park " after I heard what I need to hear I let go of his hand and dashed off the school building hearing his yelp when he almost fell on the stair. But I didn't mind all I want to do now is to dash off to tsuki, whoever the fuck is this guy im going to fucking kill him. Ignoring the busy crowd I pushed myself further, I don't give a shit about my class. "shit!" I cursed as I almost stumble on my way, im lucky though since it was near the school.

With heart beating so fast as the adrenaline dash through my veins I stood in front of the hospital to catch my breath and proceeded inside,

"im looking for a Heiwajima Tsukishima"

"oh' she looked through some papers and looked at me "second floor on the left hallway second to the last"  
I dashed off not thanking her, well I don't care, using the stairs I ran through the second floor while dashing my way through the hall way my phone buzzed, fishing it I read the message and stopped in my tracks. "what the!" i gripped the phone so hard as I read the content.

_I can see that you are so worried on that blond, running all the way to the hospital  
its so much fun~do you know how it feels now? Losing someone so important to you?  
it hurts right?i want to make you feel what I felt before when you took everything from me  
if you want the safety of your blond friend then….. you know what to do.._

Standing in front of tsuki's room I hesitated and just decided to walk away but before I could move an inch the door swung open and Delic's surprised face was looking at me.

"hachi…chan?"  
I stared at delic and then looked down before fixing my gaze behind him where tsuki was lying, a cast on his left arm and bandage around his head. But a smile was present on his face when he saw me.

"Roppi-san!"

"I'll leave you both I need a break im hungry" he smiled and left us, I heard the door closed as I made my way towards the blond and looked at him.

"what a-are you-"

"who did this?"

"i-I don't know, I was on m-my way home and I ran into some few people.. and t-they just-"

"then why didn't you fight back?! Geez you really are an idiot!"

"it just h-happen so fast.. but im thankful they broke my left arm.."

"what!" I practically screamed, his thankful that they broke his left arm? Oh god did they hit his head that hard? He flinched and smiled raising his right arm. "im thankful it's the left, not the r-right, then I couldn't p-paint anymore if that happened" he smiled.  
he smiled, how could he smile in a situation like this? I looked at his right arm, that's true though he won't be as good as he is in drawing if it was his right hand. _They did it on purpose_. That was the only thing I thought, they broke his left wrist as a warning. I looked down and clench my fist and noticed tsuki reaching for something in the table.

"ah.. h-here there is an exhibit today at t-the art school im attending before, i-I joined so if you like you could go" he said as he hands me an invitation, I just stared at the paper as he continued. "I really w-want to show you my work i-im sure y-you'll be ha-" he paused as I swatted his hand away making the invitation flew away from his hold. Now the words written on the message made its way into my head  
_  
__**if you want the safety of your blond friend then….. you know what to do..  
**_  
"who cares about your damn painting?! I don't want to see them, its waste of time" I looked away and sighed I can't bear looking at tsuki's confused face.

"i-im sorry.. I won't ask you again-"

"no! that's your problem you know! Can't you see I don't … I don't like you! If you want to hear my answer well my answer is no!... I can't be with an idiot like you"

"but…b-but last night.. wh-what was that all about? Why did you-"

"because I need it! Come on Tsuki wake up! When I slept with you it…it doesn't mean I feel something for you!"

"but.. Roppi-san c-could you give me chance i-I promise I will-"

"stop! Just stop, lets not make this difficult for both of us, I don't like you! Its better if you just leave the fuck out of my life! I don't need you!, who needs someone like you in the first place?! Im just playing with you!"  
I was stunned at my words as well and looked at Tsuki who just looked at me with wide eyes, he looked down and took a deep breath before forcing a smile at me I can see the hurt on that smile, and I was trying my best not to cry as well.

"if that's what you want, I won't push myself to you, and if you want me out of your life …. " I didn't want hear any more so I decided to go out and left the room.

The pain that jabbed into my chest was nothing compared to all the injuries that I got today, like I was being slowly killed. So everything was just a lie, last night was a lie, the day before was a lie, and the day before that day was a lie. I tried to understand him, but perhaps I have reached my limit. Starring at the sheets that maybe it will create a hole at how hard I stared at it, I don't understand what's wrong with me, maybe if I become as friendly as Delic, as calm and collected like Tsugaru or as cool as Shizuo, maybe Roppi could like me back? I pulled my knees up to my chest in a defensive curl.

_**stop! Just stop, lets not make this difficult for both of us, I don't like you! Its better if you just leave the fuck out of my life! I don't need you!, who needs someone like you in the first place?! Im just playing with you!**_

fresh tears starts to stream in my eyes as I recalled his words, hearing those words from the person you adored, admire and loved, from the person who became your everything, it hurts , it stings. I clenches my fist and took off my glasses throwing it at wall before grasping my hair.  
"what's wrong with me? am I not good enough?" I asked myself those questions all the time.

"hey Tsu- what happened to your glasses?!" I heard Delic said as he picked up my glasses and walked towards me, "Tsuki why did you break this new glasses of yours?"

"new?" I raised a brow looking at his blurry figure

"yeah this wasn't the glasses Tsugaru bought, look" he handed me the glassed and I inspected it trying to make out of the blurry image. Realization struck me so hard _i..i just threw the gift Roppi gave me_ I clutched the object in my hand and bit my lips. "De-delic can you please leave m-me alone.. I n-need some time f-for myself"

"but I don't want t-"

"I said leave me alone!" I yelled and glared at him, that he backed away and left the room without hesitation. So this is it huh?

"Tsuki? I just came back because I need my headphones" Delic said as he scurried over the table and grabbed his head phones. I looked at him as he slowly made his exit.

"wait" he looked back at me and blinked in confusion. "can I ask you s-something?"

"sure"

I reached for my mailbag in the table and threw it at him, catching the thing he stared at me and wondered "the keys to my dorm room is there, can you get some things for me?"

I wiped away the tears that was making its way on my cheeks and continued to run. I don't know where I am going I just kept on running and running. I finally ended up on the park, sitting on the bench under the dead cherry blossom this is too much. Why can't I be happy? Why don't I deserve any happiness? I planted my face on my hands and starts to sob, Tsuki is the one. The only one who understood me, the one who isn't afraid of me, the one who was always there and loved me, how could I even let him go? But then of course i can't risk his safety, if Tsuki was like Shizuo then there won't be any problem to watch himself but Tsuki being Tsuki that's impossible.  
I just need to find this stalker and if I do I will definitely kill him or … murder him, I clench my fist as that thought crossed my mind. Standing up I wiped the corners of my eyes with my jacket and decided to go back to the dorm. It was already dark I didn't even noticed how long I stayed in that place to contemplate and think. Cutting my wrist came to my mind but I think its not the solution for now, walking back to the dorm I fished my keys and unlocked the door entering the dark room I switched the lights on and saw no one. "maybe he'll sleep in the hospital" I said as I shrugged my coat and fetched a glass of water glancing through Tsuki's bed I noticed something. Something was really odd, I looked at the bedside table of his bed and its empty.. too empty, usually he had his books there and drawing materials but it was gone. Suddenly a thought came to my mind and went to check his closet then I realized.

"He's gone… he left"


	16. Chapter 16: The last letter

_**oh my freaking God! its been a long time since i updated and i deeply apologize for that! -bows head- i had a very serious issue of having a writers block in this story i was confused about the sequence and just keep on starring at the laptop. but anyway here is the chapter 15 i hope you all enjoy it and pleaase do review i missed the reviews of this story. thank you very much! |('.') **_

"What does this mean?" I looked at the younger blond who had bandage around his head and left arm, beside him was Delic who was carrying a bag. Tsuki flinched as tapped my finger on the doorway, im pissed when I heard the buzzer of the doorbell nonstop and what irked me more is that im doing _something_ with the flea upstairs.

"i-im sorry Shizuo-san.." Tsuki fidgeted with his shirt and looked down, I sighed and calm down a little as I looked at him, before I heard the loud slamming of the bedroom door and stomping of feet, usually Izaya slams the door when he is pissed and well yeah he is, the flea doesn't want to be disturbed when we are doing it, even if it was his client.

"who the hell is that imbecile now brute! You know I do-…. Ohh Tsuki" th flea stopped on the stair case changing his earlier scowl into a smile, but what made me stunned is the flea was wearing my too big button up shirt and underwear exposing his pale legs that I was attacking earlier.

"what the fuck flea! Wear something decent!" I looked back at the two who was staring at izaya as the raven made his way towards me and clung on my arms.

"heh, but Shizu-chan is answering the door topless, that's not decent at all"

"ohh~ it seems we came in the wrong time Tsuki" Delic's smirk was up on his ears.

"ah yes Delic you are right, Shizu-chan is pretty pissed since he was about to-"

"shut the fuck up!" I cupped my hands into the raven's mouth to silence him. "just come in, both of you and explain."

After an hour of explanation, it became that long due to izaya's first assumptions and rambling, another long minutes of Shizuo's arguing with him, and another minutes of throwing things at Izaya and the remaining minutes for my explanation. My explanation went like this.  
'while going home a group of boys just beat me up without any good reason, well that is true. Then I need to stay over Shizuo-san's place is because I don't feel like staying there (dorm) anymore, so I'll find new place to stay until then I'll live with shizuo-san'

"why didn't you go to Tsugaru?" Shizuo asked and crossed his arms by now he already had a shirt on but the raven beside him was still on his previous clothing, I sighed and looked at Delic as I grabbed the scarf to cover my chin.

"he said he can't take Tsuki because his house is on renovation"

"come on shizu-chan tsuki will do no harm" izaya cooed beside shizuo and smiled at him, I saw Shizuo relaxed a bit as he looked at me.

"fine.. well like the flea said Its Tsuki, I would have go on second thought if it was Delic"

"that's mean Shizuo!" Delic pouted and stood up "anyway im leaving then, Tsuki take care okay? Ill see you in school" I smiled at Delic as he waved and headed to the door. I stared back at the couple in my front and looked down with a small frown, I don't want to bother them of course, its just that I don't have anywhere to go, Delic is on dorm, Tsugaru is staying on a hotel for the time being, my parents? I don't even wanted to see them.

"Tsuki.." I flinched and looked up to meet izaya's face close to mine as he smiled. "Feel at home okay?" he ruffled my hair as he strode towards the kitchen. "is there anything you want?" he skipped opening the fridge.

"i- um,.. anything w-would do izaya-san" I fidgeted and looked at Shizuo stood up and followed Izaya in the the kitchen. "don't baby him flea, I know you like kids but Tsuki is a teen"

"but he still acts like a cute innocent kid"  
I blushed and looked at the place awkwardly, ive been here twice, today would be the third time. I sighed and saw a pudding in the glass table on the living room. "here you go Tsuki" izaya smiled and went back to the kitchen, I always thought Izaya was scary but he seemed sweet. As I looked at him it reminded me of someone that looked just like him with burning crimson eyes.  
"Roppi.."

At a certain dorm.. the next day

I sighed, probably the hundred times today I looked down at the book I was reading while sipping coffee, looking around the place I sighed again. _It's so quiet_ I slammed the book close and looked at the vacant bed in my front. I feel lonelier now, I still feel guilty that Tsuki was sent in the hospital because of me, I wiped away the tears that was threatening to escape in my eyes. I grabbed my bag and went out the dorm to head in the school, half of me wanted to just lock myself in the dorm but half of me wanted to see Tsuki so I decided to go. Walking to the school gates every step I take is getting heavier and heavier, walking past the hallways I went inside the room and immediately my eyes landed on Tsuki as well as him but then he looked down and went to face the board instead. i sat down beside him and opened the book I was reading though im not really reading I just wanted to kill some time but my gaze would usually went to the blond sitting next to me, I really did hurt him and I know that. But its for his own safety I need to do it.

"Tsuki!" I heard a female voice squeaking behind me, I didn't look back so that it would look like im not interested but I recognize the owner of the voice Yukima Akiko.

"ah..Yu-Yukima-san?"

"Tsuki I need help, Heiwajima-sensie asked me to get someone who could carry the boxes of files in the faculty room are you available?" she smiled at tsuki as I glanced I saw the blond smiled back at her and stood up following the girl out the room, I sighed again.

"Karusawa…. Mikage" I heard Delic mumble as he passed our test results. Handing the paper to Mikage he turned to me "Hachime.." he sighed and rolled his eyes throwing the paper at my face before turning.

"what the fuck! Do you have manners!" I spat and picked the paper on the floor, delic turned to look at me and glared.

"I only have manners for people who also had manners"

"are you implying I don't have manners?"

"people who had manners doesn't treat other people as play thing"

"what are you talking about?"  
Delic went a step close to me and slammed both his hands on my table "if you are just playing with him, well you did very well, the last thing I don't want to see is my older brother getting hurt, he had suffered enough protecting me before and it's the least I could do now, you have no idea why he is like that" after a final slam on my table leaving a dent. I froze on my seat and stared at the dent and stood up heading out, maybe it's a good Idea to just skip class. Walking outside the hallways I saw Tsuki carrying four boxes as yukima talked to him carrying a box. Looking away I went and just passed them, our eyes met for a moment before the contact broke, at that moment I feel happy but it was not enough, I really wish I could end up with all this bullshit on my stalker. I went straight to my dorm and saw a suspicious letter on the floor, I closed the door and read the content.

_do you want to end this all? I know you wanted to,  
well lets meet up on that old abandoned building four blocks  
away from sunshine 60…_

I crushed the paper and threw it at the garbage and pocketed my blade before heading at the location without  
second thoughts. I really need to end this now!

Looking around the hallway I was peeking curiously at the people hoping I don't spot the raven in the dorm. Thankfully he wasn't there, slipping my key on my previous dorm I looked around actually I missed this place but I don't have time to be sentimental. I left my sketchpad under my bed and I came here take it since roppi isn't around, lifting my bed with ease I took my sketch pad and grimaced at the crushed papers underneath my bed. Its those times where I just throw some of the sketches that doesn't satisfy me, slowly I picked them all up and put it in my bag after all its my own mess I should clean it. Putting the bed down I took another glance at the room and decided to sit on the ravens bed and ran my hand through the mattress, that night it was perfect and he wished he could bring back time then it would be perfect again. I closed my eyes and lay down feeling the scent of roppi.

"Roppi-san.. Hachimen Roppi.. .. Roppi" I murmured and nuzzled the sheets, thinking roppi was beside me smiling or even scowling I don't really care as long as I can see him, opening my eyes I was met by the harsh reality that I was alone. Sitting up with a frown I grabbed the pad and started to walk out the room but paused as I saw a crushed paper near the trash and automatically I picked it up, wondering why I picked it I just shrugged off the thought and put it on my bag before heading out the room. Walking through shizuo's place my phone vibrated in my pocket, feeling it against my leg I jumped startled at the ringing. I picked it up and checked the caller.

"ahh Matsui-Sensie"

"Tsukishima, why didn't you go to the exhibit yesterday?"

"sorry I d-didn't make it" I frowned and looked around the place a bit confused.

"your painting is still here"

"I know.. you can do whatever you want a-about it" I sighed and went back to the next block im lost again, this always happen though nothing new.

"but tsukishima that is… important to you"

"I know, please keep it safe" I sighed and ended the call as I looked around to where I am currently standing. For now I need to go home and find my way.


	17. Chapter 17 : The Confrontation

_**Oh! yes another chapter! thank you for the reviews and those who followed and faves the story! thank you very much i hope you enjoy while reading this!**_

He finally went at the right apartment for almost thirty minutes he found himself walking aimlessly at Ikebukuro, back and forth at the park and around the city to find the right apartment he was looking for. With a sigh I opened the door and went inside looking around I saw Izaya on the kitchen taking out some vegetables on the fridge and paced it on the kitchen counter.  
"shizu-chan I prepared hotpot today, I know you like them ne? wou-" he stopped talking as he looked up to meet my gaze."oops I thought it was Shizu-chan! Welcome home tsuki-chan~ like I said I prepared hotpot!" Izaya smiled as he wore his apron and started to wash the fresh ingredients. I placed my bag on the couch and went to the kitchen.

"i-is there anything I could do?" I asked wanting to help the older male but he just smiled and looked at me.

"no thanks tsuki I want to prepare this myself for you and Shizu-chan.. but I you insist just keep me accompany its hard talking alone ne?"

"a-alright" I said and took a seat at one of the stool in the counter looking at Izaya, I looked at him through my glasses and blinks, he really looks like a house wife.

"so where is Shizu-chan?"

"he was still at meeting w-with the faculty a-about the incident in the field trip"

"ahh I see" he murmured and started to chop the vegetables, the room was silent aside from the constant chopping. It was awkward and I can't even make a start to conversation as I just sat there and looked at Izaya, for a moment my thoughts were being plagued by Roppi again even in the class I can't concentrate even though he wasn't there, I guess he skipped again.

"tsuki why did you left the dorm?"

'"uh." I blinked for a moment before his question sunk into my understanding. "uh.. well i-I don't feel like staying there anymore..because its.. its … t-the place is I can't concentrate on studying"

"haaa jeezz you are as bad as Shizu-chan when lying.. "

"im n-not l-"

"you love him ne?" the chopping stopped as he asked that question and looked at me "you love Roppi"  
at that time I remained silent, looking down as if I did a very unforgivable thing, Izaya chuckled and continued to chop. "I can see it so clear Tsuki-chan did the two of you got on fight? I know you can tolerate him but I didn't expect you would really leave the place."

"he doesn't want me anymore, there is no point"

Izaya remained silent for a moment maybe a bit stunned at how I didn't stutter, I usually don't stutter when im too serious to even think a proper reply whatever comes in my mind I say it without hesitation.

"hmm… and you gave up that easily?"

"I did not give up, I just grant his wish " I said lowly and sighed burying my face in my folded arms on the counter, just thinking about it makes me want to cry all over again but of course I don't want to cry in front of Izaya so I tried to hold back my tears. I closed my eyes and I heard the chopping stopped all at ones and the chair being pulled by my side.

"do you know why Roppi pushes everyone away?" he asked and I looked up at him, sitting straight as fidgeted with my scarf, I didn't ask anymore since he continued to speak "because he doesn't want to hurt the people that he values, the more he value you the more he tries to push you away"

"why?"

"Tsuki" Izaya turned to face me and took my hand as he speak "promise me you won't tell anyone about this" I looked at the raven and slowly nods, whatever it is I know it was important and a secret that if I spill, it might cost me my neck.

"Tsuki Roppi is not my cousin, he was my younger brother.. and he doesn't know about this"  
I blinked and just stared at izaya as he sighed and faced the counter again folding his arms as he tapped the table. I didn't know what to say so I just waited for him to continue which he did.

"Roppi is a un legitimate son of my father, his mother was the former secretary of my father and they had an affair but it just lasted for a year and Roppi's mom left the town without telling she was pregnant. His mother married another man a doctor, they lived together when he was seven but after a year his mother died in an accident and he was left in the care of his step father after the funeral of his mother the beatings started. His step father would let his stress out of roppi, his step father took Roppi to his real family unfortunately he already had a wife and a daughter and they threw him under the stairs locking him there only letting him out to clean or to beat him. When he was eleven when his stepfather molested him, and he started cutting himself at that age, he almost died many times but his step father would always treat the wounds. Later did he know and the family know that Roppi's mental state is not stable anymore."  
_not stable?_ I blinked and started to look down as I pondered over what izaya said, that's why, that's why Roppi-san is suicidal, his past was worse than mine. I thought I was the most unfortunate kid but…

"one day Roppi heard his step father said that he was just using his mother for the money and that he killed his mother so when his stepfather beat him his insanity took all of him and he.. he.. " a sigh escaped the informants mouth as he tried to find the words he was about to say.

"He?"

"**_He killed them_**, he murdered the family he killed three people and burned the house.. my father who found out about Roppi and was about to take him away from that family came too late to see the burning house and the child that was standing on the backyard with a knife, my father took him away from there and into a rehabilitation center he told my father everything that happened and after three years, Roppi managed to overcome his problem and started to live with us, he had torturing which he passed without any troubles, but getting along with him was the hardest of all, he stabbed Psyche when he was on his fits, he almost pushed me off a building starting that day he became cold and rarely talked to us, he confined himself on his own world and he won't allow any intruder. Tsuki he was pushing you away because he doesn't want to hurt you" izaya said and looked at me before his gaze fell on the pot that was already boiling; standing up he turned it off. I looked down and clenched the ends of my scarf as tears started to fall down my eyes fogging my glasses. I didn't know, I didn't know that Roppi drove me away because of that but then.. I slowly stood up and went to my room Izaya's voice of asking was on the background but I closed the door behind me and slumped on my bed. Thinking about what izaya said I looked down and wiped the tears away there was more reason why Roppi-san pushed my away from him because he already accepted me right? He should have pushed me away from the moment I confessed but he didn't. he thinks he would hurt anyone because he killed three people he killed that family… wait.. wait, something is not right as long as I could remember Roppi-san said back at the lake that.

_**"then I found out he already had a family of his own and was just using my mother he took me to his house and lived there along with his wife ,daughter and son"**_

I tilted my head and blinked as I recalled what izaya said

_**"his step father took Roppi to his real family unfortunately he already had a wife and a daughter"**_

Something is wrong here.. I looked down and flipped the pages on my sketch pad and sighed, grabbing my bag I dropped all the contents in the floor as well as the garbage I found under my bed in the dormitory. Opening the crushed papers I looked at them one by one, one was a drawing of a flower which was being scratched, the other was drawing of Roppi who was also crushed since I didn't get the right angle. Throwing it on the trash I grabbed another paper and opened it but I tilted my head as I read the contents.

_**Roppi how come did you survive this long? Im amused you are not dead yet  
but don't worry, because one day no one will remember you.**_

I blinked and stared at the letter, this is a.. I looked around and saw another crushed paper opening it I read the contents

_**do you want to end this all? I know you wanted to,  
well lets meet up on that old abandoned building four blocks  
away from sunshine 60…**_

* * *

"Hachimen Roppi" I heard the voice down the hall as another fist collided with my jaw, I groaned and coughed two male were holding my arms since my knees already gave up, from the moment I entered the building a hard object was bashed against my head and lost my consciousness, when I opened it I was so dizzy to even stand up and from the moment I took a few steps they started to beat me four guys the one was just watching while laughing as he looked down at me. I looked at the person who I suppose was the leader, my rage was starting to get out but I was interrupted by the pain that I felt when he made a cut on my arm.

"do you like seeing that Roppi? Hmm? To a person as crazy as you are I suppose you liked it" he smiled and waved the blade in the air. The pain was slowly subsiding I managed to glare t him.

"who.. who are you?" I asked and hissed again as he made a cut on my other arm, blood spilling on the ground.

"you like seeing blood Roppi, do you think I wound't remember the looks you have while you murdered my family huh!" the man stood my front and pushed his hat away so I could clearly see the scar that almost tore his face, it was on his chin going to the sides of his face up to his temples, now I remembered.

"Keichi?"

"yes, you Psycho!" he hissed and took a hold of my hair and ran the blade on my chest, he grabbed my wrist and pinned them on the ground before stabbing my hand with my own blade.

"AAAHHHH!" my scream filled the room as I stared at the blade, pain was racking on my body, pain and anger, pain and pain.. its all I could feel the pain, the blood, the rush of my thoughts and the murmurs on my ear the endless mantra of kill..

_**kill… blood… kill them.. see their blood…enjoy the pain  
**_

_**…..kill….kill…..kill….kill…..kill….kill…  
**_

_**death.. crimson.. crimson … spill it ..  
**_

_**cut… more deaths…pain..  
**_

_**KILL THEM ALL!**_

What? did you just said 'kill them all?' that was a very nice idea coming from you. Im starting to like your idea it sounded so good and tempting.. so should we kill them all? You will help me right? So how should we do this? Tear the limbs part by part? But it would take long because I had a small knife… ahh how about lets count how many times I stabbed them? Sounds good.

"AHAHAHAHA!" So shall we start the countdown?


	18. Chapter 18: Outburst of Wrath and Rage

_**thank for supporting me with this fic supremebunnylord and alwaysblu i am so happy that you continue to read this fic all the yime i updated and i thank you for that here is a free cookie! anyway i hope you don't kill me with this but this fic might have only few four chapters left anyway plase do satisfy and read and pardon for the spelling mistakes and grammar.**_

* * *

_**5**_

I ran and ran in the streets of Ikebukro my heart was pounding so hard that it was so deafening, the rain was strong and heavy it seems that each drop is trying to make me fall on my knees as I ran. The people gave me strange looks as I pushed past them, drenching my scarf my bag was left on my room as I rushed I need to find him

_**4**_

When I read the note back in my room, I concluded that Roppi headed to that abandoned building knowing the raven, he won't back away that was true even if the situation is dangerous he would not think running as second option that is who Roppi was. He was a strong person compared to me, who would always run away and preferred to be lost.

_**3**_

Hearing Izaya's story a thought came to me, the strange letters that Roppi kept on receiving. I saw him once or twice reading something as his expression turned sour and threw the paper in the trash, if I only knew I should have stopped this from happening.

_**2**_

Looking around the building looked the same in my eyes, cursing and clenching my fists I stared at the place, im lost! And at this time of moment, I know once I got lost it would take more than thirty minutes before I find the right route and get lost again. Wiping the moist in my glasses I looked at the place carefully and ran back, I should get there. I must find my way! I need to go to him! Being lost now is not an option! Stoping I was already in front of Sunshine 60, crossing the streets I looked around for an abandoned building, going through some alley I heard a loud scream and followed it, seeing an old warehouse I opened the door with my hidden strength.  
"ROPPI!"

_**1**_

"_**29! 30! 31! 32!...33!"**_

my eyes widened as I saw Roppi straddling a…a corpse, blood was all over the place, even Roppi was bathing with blood as he continued to count each number had a corresponding stab. There are three people watching the scenes in horror as one of their colleagues are being murdered in their front. The look on the raven was different his eyes were crazed and I stood there frozen unable to move, why? Why can't I move? I was afraid. I can feel the sweat trickling on my temples as I stared in horror, I can't believe what I was seeing. Clenching my fist I ordered my feet to move but it was still on the ground, what was stopping me?. nobody even noticed that I was on the place until my trance was broke by a loud scream.

"you psycho!" I looked up and saw two other male dragged the raven against the wall making him drop the knife in process as he stared in the ground with wide eyes, probably realizing what he did small tears had escaped from his crimson orbs. My attention diverted at the person who was trotting nearer carrying a chair and raised it above his head and before I knew it my feet moved in fast pace and I stood in his front and felt the impact of the chair hit me.

As soon as my senses came back to me I gasped in horror as I realized what I just did, it was just like that night from before where i killed them. My thoughts went back at the situation in hand and I saw Keichi dragging a chair, I can't survive this one I don't have any strength at the time it was all drained I know this because of the cuts and bruises I had on my body. They made a deep cut at my arms and wrist and to my chest and back I was actually dripping with own blood and I know I might die by blood loss. But it doesn't matter anymore since my fate is quite obvious. Closing my eyes I waited at the impact and looked down but as seconds pass I didn't feel anything but I heard a loud snap and gasps. Opening eyes I look down and saw a pair of glasses in the ground and by seeing that there is only one person I knew who owned the same thing. I slowly raised my head and my eyes widen at the realization. A blond man was standing in my front his face and body were twisted at the side probably from the impact.

"Ts..Tsuki?"

I murmured weakly, I can't believe that he was here, im almost sure I was hallucinating but the blood that trickled down the temple of the other male made me sure that I was seeing the real deal.

"who is this! Get out of the way!" one of the men that was holding me grabbed the metal bar as he dropped me on the floor.

"it's the guy we beat up, that small puppy in the painting gallery!" one of the man mocked as he laughed along with the others.

"then he shouldn't be a problem" Kiechi smirked as he signaled his two companions to attack. The one with blue hair raised his metal bar and made a strike. I stared and almost scream, but I stopped myself when Tsuki raised his forearm to block the weapon. I can hear the murmur of 'how did he..' and other questions that slipped through the assailant. I can't see Tsuki's expression since it was hidden with his scarf and bangs but I could clearly hear the low growl he was emitting even though I feel almost fainting in blood loss but my consciousness jumped back to life when I saw Tsuki lifted his other hand and grabbed the metal bar who bend on his hard grip. Before I knew it a body was slammed against the wall beside me and it frightened me to see this side of Tsuki, the one that was slamming the body in the wall before hurling it on the opposite way and ran to the other man who tried to run but was stopped by Tsuki's hand gripping his hair that probably already was starting to separate from his scalp.

"tsu..Tsuki" I said as I saw the act of violence Tsuki was into. The way he use his feet to bury the face of the man in the concrete suddenly Tsuki's words went back to me. "_**b-because I don't want to be blinded by the range"**_ looking around Kiechi had fee the scene but still Tsuki continued to display his act of violence. i need him to stop

"TsukI! St..stop! you do-" I was cut by the blood that I was coughing, breathing hard I looked at the fuming blond, I know he doesn't want to do this, I know Tsuki would regret this. And its all my fault I should have known from the start that he doesn't deserve me and I don't deserve him either he.. he is.. Tsuki is too bright for me, mybe its better if I just die then he won't have anything to think about or I could just push him away like before? Kiechi is still alive im sure he would get back at Tsuki, the crime I did today, I don't want to involve him further in my life.

"Roppi-san?! Are you alright!?" I still looked down and clenched my fist.

"….away.."

"its will be f-fine, don't worry" he said and tried to scoop me in his arms but I swatted his hands away

"g..go away!" I glared at him and looked down, why is he still here he should go away and just leave me! I can't believe how stubborn I am part of me wanted him but the one who was in control wanted him to go away.

"im sorry I c-can't" Tsuki said as he carried me in his arms and started to run out of the warehouse. I tried to push myself away from him and started to squirm.

"just let me die!" I was tired, too tired to even fight but I still did, see how stubborn I am?

"Roppi-san i-I can't let you die! Please st-stay calm, I will take you to shinra! I can't let you die!"

"THEN DIE!" I screamed and I felt his body tensed as he ran, I looked away, I didn't mean to say that it slipped and I can't take it back. Looking at the blond I saw determination in those eyes. My body is tired and im too tired to argue with him and instead closed my eyes which I hope won't open again yet the last thing I heard before I drift into the darkness was his response.

"I probably will"

* * *

It was annoying, the constant beeping and some shuffling, also footsteps. I tried to move my body yet it was only my finger that twitched I scrunch my brows and tried to open my eyes when I heard a familiar voice, yet not the voice that I find comforting.

"he's waking up, call shinra"  
The white ceiling was the first thing that I saw before a figure towered over me, magenta eyes looking at me with a wide smile spread across the face of the pink fluff raven.

"Pi-chan is awake!" he beamed and winced at how loud his voice is, bastard if could move my arms I would have to punch him off, my head throb at the announcement.

"get off him Psych, don't worsen his condition" Hibiya dragged the other raven back to the seat, oh god Hibiya you are such a life saver.

"so out sleeping beauty is awake~" Izaya said as he entered the room with Shinra and Shizuo, looking at them I glared and scoff as I went back to look at the ceiling as if it was the most interesting thing to stare at.

"how are you feeling Roppi-kun?" Shinra asked as he checked my heart monitor and his clipboard.

"feeling like shit!" I hissed and sighed as Shinra chuckled.

"heh~ being unconscious for a three weeks of course you will feel like that" he smiled and continued to check whatever he had to check. Three weeks? I was out for three weeks. Shinra probably noticed my thinking because he answered my question in mind.

"you almost died in blood loss and I really mean it. If you were taken here late you are probably under the ground now" he smiled, what's funny about that? I stared at the bandages at my arms down to my wrist.

"oi! Stop scaring my student" Shizuo huffed as he looked at me. Looking at them I tilted my head. Where… where is he?

"where is Tsuki?" I asked as I looked around, Delic isn't here too. I asked once again then they all paused, even Psyche's smile falter which was rare. Noticing this Izaya suddenly chuckled and shrugged.

"well are you hungry? Being asleep for three weeks is sure your stomach is now begging for food~"

"y..yes! Pi-chan must be hungry!" he smiled again. And everyone in the room shrugged the question I asked as if I didn't ask in the first place, even shizuo focused on drinking his water, hibiya was silent while Shinra checked my arm"

"where is Tsukishima?!" I asked again

"Pi-chan why don't we-"

"Shut the fuck up Psyche and answer me!" I sat up making Shinra jolt and pushed me down again. I struggled at his grip as I trashed out. "calm down" he said and glared at him "I will if you tell me what happened!" I said and looked at Shinra who looked at izaya who nodded and sighed.

"tsuki is.."

"is what?" ii asked as I looked at them as if they don't want to tell me.

"its beter iif-"

"damn it! Just tell me!"

"he is…Tsuki is.."

"Tsuki is gone"


	19. Chapter 19: His Master Piece

"Tsuki is gone"

Another voice blended in the room and I fixed my gaze to look at Delic who went inside the room and leaned on the wall looking at me with a scoff.

"'what do you mean by gone?" I asked as I slowly sat up and looked at Delic, something told me that asking this question is a bad idea but I wanted to know, I wanted to know what happened to him.

"you have no idea?" he rolled his eyes and Hibiya stood up to glare at Delic. But I was amazed that he didn't made fun of hibiya.

"last week he went straight to shinra to help you" Izaya said as he crossed his arms and looked outside the window, his explanation is being continued by Shinra.

"if he came here a bit late, you would have died, the cuts on your arms and back caused you to lose too much blood, Tsuki… he was being shot but he insisted to save you first, he gave you his blood and said to take as much as I could to save you and in the process he…"  
I stared at Shinra, trying to process what he just said, I can't believe it.. could it be that Tsuki.. no. he can't be dead! I gripped the sheets and looked down, but if he isn't where is he? Why isn't he here? judging by Delic's expression he wasn't lying.. _he's gone_ Delic's words came back to me and I couldn't let them see me like this. Maybe sensing my feelings Izaya walked out telling everyone to leave me for the time being, and I was thankful for that… for now I don't know what would happen to me now that Tsuki is gone.

It's been a month since the accident and continued to live my life, went to school and worked part time in a café though I hated it I have no other choice since I need the job, but ever since that day, the letter Kiechii sends already stopped. Delic continued to ignore me, Izaya and Shizuo is planning a wedding, Psyche is still the same, Hibiya and Tsugaru are also still the same and as for me I became more cold than before, I even stopped socializing to people even to the people that I mentioned. It would be another two months and I would finally graduate, I haven't thought of it for the time being and I don't want to think about it. I left the dorm already it was too painful staying there and ive tried to kill myself several times, but I just can't bring myself to do it. I can't bear to see Tsuki's blood to spill. I hate him! He left me with a curse, I won't be able to harm myself nor bring myself to cut my wrists because he was gone because of me and the only remainder of him is the blood coursing through my body, his blood. With a sigh I continued to walk through the hallways ignoring the stares that I got used to. Izaya said I was depressed and need to see a doctor, but no.. I don't need a damn doctor I need something.. Someone and it was Tsuki. But he was gone and its my fault, I was afraid that my insanity would take over me but so far it didn't and I don't know if I should be glad about it. Another sigh and I reached my locker only to find an envelope. Blinking a shiver ran on my body. _Don't tell me?_ but Kiechii was being arrested already, Izaya tracked him down and .. and .. I couldn't move my frown deepened as I glared at the envelope slowly taking and opening it I stared in awe as I took out the content.  
"invitation?" I murmured and read the content , this.. this was the same invitation Tsuki handed me back in the hospital, but.. but I, I didn't accept it. Could it be Delic? I can't ask him, he won't even tell me where they buried Tsuki. No one told me where and its fucking unfair! Gripping the envelope I looked at it and looked at the date. Exhibit today?. Looking down I slammed the locker hard and started to make my way through the gallery.

Walking through the busy streets I kept my gaze down, passing some stores and even the café that I worked on, one of the staff smiled at me but I ignored it, they are probably used to my act. Suddenly an itchy feeling told me someone is looking at me, following me. who? I turned around and looked through the place, nothing seemed to be suspicious shrugging it off I proceeded to my destination and looked at the gallery. It was not that big but there are lot of people and its kind of well-known in this part of town, as to how I get the invitation im still wondering though I told myself that I will only take a look and leave. Looking around I noticed some glances being threw at me but it wasn't the same glances I receive at school but it still made me uncomfortable. As I walked Inside I even heard murmurs now and they are all referring to me?

"that's him?" I heard a girl said to her friend and the friend nodded with her and they are giggling, what the fuck? I brushed of the thought off and started to wonder around, there were landscapes and some animals and… what the hell is this ah abstract, how did it even displayed I can't understand anything it was as if the paint were just being thrown at the canvas shaking my head and went further in and saw a certain painting caught my attention. In the painting was an arm and blood was all around it pooling out from its wrist. "wow" I murmured and went closer to inspect it and was stunned to see the signature on the corner of the frame.

"tsukishima" I murmured and looked down as I went to check the other paintings some were Tsuki's works and I felt my heart clench at the sight. I don't want to look anymore and decided to leave but before I could leave something caught my eyes and I stood frozen at my place, that's why, that's why they are looking at me. _stupid Tsukushima!_ I scowled angrily as I looked at the painting and smiled a bit, on the painting was a raven male who had a huge smile on his face.

"do I really look like this when I smile?" I asked myself and shook my head as I stared at the painting, why was I smiling in there again? Oh right the idiot fell face first in the lake, who won't laugh in their ass if they saw that, but then again I don't have any reason to smile again right? The one reason for that is gone. Sighing I turned on my heels and stopped before walking as an old man stood in my front.

"ah.. I see its you" the older male said as he observed me from head to foot and I grimace at the smile he showed me.

"so if its me?" I asked back , maybe he was referring on the painting.

"frowning doesn't really suit you" I furrow my brow at his comment and raised a brow, I mean why do he care? Rolling my eyes my frown even deepen and I went to the other direction before I heard him speak again. "Tsuki said that" I stopped and looked back at the older male and blinked. "Tsuki said that frowning doesn't suit you, now I understand, oh I am his teacher and I own this place as well" he smiled and I blinked again before realizing what he said and realizing the insults ive thrown about him in my mind.

"oh.. sorry" I said and cocked my head on the side avoiding his gaze.

"you are Roppi right? If you are wondering how I knew your name it was because of my favourite student, he never stop mentioning your name" he chuckled softly and I just stayed at my place looking at him with dumbfounded expression.

"your're student?" I raised my brow and looked at the man in my front just smiled and I just recalled what he said "_Tsuki said that" _"Tsuki?" I asked again and followed him as he started to walk.

"yes Tsukishima.. you know that kid is so kind and sweet, I treated him as my own son already so I was really sad when I heard the news."  
I looked down because I know Im reason why Tsuki was now gone.

"did you know where he first saw his master piece? He saw It in the park, and he never hesitate to paint the boy on the bench but he was frustrated because the boy had a very sad face" I looked at the teacher as he walked to the painting of mine and ontinued talking "starting that day he never stopped painting and sketching the said boy trying his best to replace the frown with a smile but he was never satisfied he said that the smile was forced and its not genuine" I listened and looked down I know he was talking about me, yet I couldn't remember seeing Tsuki in the park "then one night he came to my studio, it was really late at night he said he need to paint, because he finally saw it."

"saw what?"

I looked down at the ground as I slowly walked to nowhere in particular just randomly trying to pass my time as I recalled what Tsuki's teacher answered my question

_"saw what?"  
_

_"your smile"_

I stopped my breathing as I also stopped myself from crying, how could I not? He was gone because of me, I drove him away from me, I hurt him and he was still doing everything for me? why?. I want to kill myself now I want to jump in a building, hang myself, or slit my throat or perha-  
my thoughts trailed off as I looked up at the person that I bumped. His back was facing me but I already recognize who it was because of the white and pink headphones on his blond hair.

"Delic.."

"watch where are you going next time" a low murmur was heard and he looked at the store selling cd's Delic was busy picking and choosing on the stand that was outside the store with a sign SALE, that he didn't even turned back to look at me.

"im sorry" I said and looked at his back and sighed deeply.

"what's with the sign?" I heard him said as he scratches the back of his head.

"are you mad at me?"

"how come?"

"come on, im not an idiot you won't talk to me in class and ignore me this is the first time you talked to me since..since..i know its my fault why Tsuki isn't here im to blame of course! There is no other person to blame!"

"do you miss him?"

"I do!"

"do you want him back?" I saw his back straighten as he played with the cd on his hand.

"of course!"

"I see… " with a pleasant sigh he returned the cd to its rack and tilted his head a bit and I saw the smile on the corner of his lips. "I gotta go now." And with  
that said he went to the other side never once spared a glance at me as he walked. Delic must be sad too, he lost tsuki of course, I continued to walk opposite his direction, I don't want to talk to him for the time being now. And maybe he is too, he won't even look at me. another sigh escaped my lips how many times did I do that today. I be- what the fuck! I mentally cursed as I bump another person this time I looked up to be met by the blond magenta eyes, cigarette hanging loosely on his lips as he looked at me.

"watch where you are going" I heard a growl as he looked at me, I froze in my place as I looked back to where I first bump on him. It was so confusing! He came from the other direction right and he magically appeared here out of nowhere!

"you came from there right?" I pointed behind my back to the shop just a few blocks away.

"what are talking about I just had my lunch" he raised a brow and checked his watch. If he came here then who? I looked back and clenched my fist somehow I got a feeling. Growling I ran back to the shop.

"o..oi!" I heard Delic shouted but I didn't mind anymore I need to find that person, somehow I was hoping.. I was hoping it was Tsukishima.

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_i have the last chapter ready so maybe i will post it next week, so thank you for all those who reviewed keep up with me till the end ne?_


	20. Chapter 20: Letting go of the chains

_like i said this is the last chapter of this fic, thank you for supporting and the reviews, the faves and followed my very first fic and im glad i finished something! i hope you enjoy this and well, see you on my other stories then~_

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Running, that's all I did today, I ran and ran to find that other blond who just magically vanished, shit! Was that ghost or something? I can't really explain and well I don't really believe in ghost somehow I got influenced by Izaya so its kind of unbelievable for me. but then again if it was Tsuki why the hell he isn't stammering? And no scarf! He can't live without that damn thing!. Groaning I stopped in front of a store to catch my breath and leaned on the wall, if that was Tsuki is he alive? If he is why isn't he showing his self to me? maybe he was mad.. who can blame him though it was my fault in the first place. I chuckled lowly and started to walk instead, maybe im just over thinking and starting to hallucinate. Gosh maybe my insanity is now kicking in since I stopped taking the meds, looking down I blankly walked and stopped in my tracks as I looked at the place I was currently in. it was the park near the school, the park where I always go . with a sigh I went and stood in front of my bench, the bench where no one really sits since it was unstable and behind it was a dead sakura tree and everyone find it creepy. The bench had been broken and I just stared at the piece of wood before feeling something wet slid down my cheek, and I realized.. I was crying. Wiping it with the sleeve of my jacket I hope that it would stop but sadly it didn't and tears flow down, all the guilt, regret and disappointment I felt this past few months came all in a rush. Bring my hands to my face to cover it I started to sob and cried, when was the last time I cried like this? Ahh right in the rooftop with Tsuki. Damn! That stupid blond again! My sobs were getting heavier and heavier, I can't breathe and I did not dare remove my hands in my face, im getting back into the darkness where once I lived, there is no escap- what?  
my breathing hitched as I felt strong arms wrapped around my waist and froze at the familiar comforting warmth that enveloped me, my hands slowly dropped.

"Tsuki?" I murmured only to myself but then I didn't expect an answer.

"yes, Roppi-san?"

eyes widen I stood still and starts to sob again, his arms tightening around me as he nuzzled at my neck and I turned around to see the blond smiling at me his glasses and scarf are present. Clenching my fist brought it up to clench at his shirt instead as I returned the hug. "Tsuki.." I murmured and looked up to him as he bought a finger to wipe my tears.  
"im sorry Roppi-san" he murmured. Suddenly I recalled something and pushed him away.

"you mean y..you are alive all this time?" I asked in disbelief, two months I grieved for his death and then here he was appearing like a clown in a party saying 'surprise im alive!'.

"y-yes I am.. Im sorry again" he scratch the back of his neck.  
clenching my fist I brought it to the idiot's jaw and strikes as hard as I could, Tsuki backed away clenching his jaw and looked at me. "r-roppi-san.. are you-"

"Shut the fuck up! You stupid blond! You big fat liar! Did you know I was mourning over to your 'fake' death and that everyone knew about it except me! I feel like a fool and then now you came here suddenly proclaiming you are alive! Did you know how hard is it for me! that I blamed myself and i…i.. I didn't know what to do! I can't think of anything else aside from you! I tried killing myself to follow you and I can't do it because .. because you… ah fuck! i.. love you so much that I can't bear to lose you! I can't b-mmf!" my rant stopped automatically as I felt soft lips melded on mine and I realized I was being kissed. My eyes automatically closed as responded on the kiss and deepens it yanking the blond tresses before pulling away, I was panting for two reasons, the kiss or my rant.

"im sorry about your jaw.." I murmured.

"its fine I d-deserved it" he smiled and looked at me with his face tinted with pink. "R-Roppi-san? Can you repeat what you said?"

"that was too long to be repeated.."

"just the last sentence will do" he smiled and I blushed, I was ranting to much that I blurted things out without my control.

"I forgot it! Don't make me!" I looked away as I could feel the heat on my cheeks and started walking tugging the blond using his sleeve instead of his hand, it was still awkward for me and im not really used of being touchy.

"tell me p-please Roppi-san"

"no!"

"why? Y-you said it quite loud"

"I did not!" I argued as we walked, I could even feel the smile he had even when im not talking to me.

"Roppi-san…"

"what!"

"I love you too~" he smiled and jumped kiss at my cheek, feeling another wave of heat on my cheek I grabbed his scarf and wrapped it around his mouth.

"Sh..shut up will you!" I groaned and started to went back in the dorm.

After the graduation Roppi and I decided to live together like Shizuo-san and Izaya-san, the ones left on the school were Psyche and Hibiya. Delic went and found a singing career in Shinjuku. I looked at the perfect raven in my front as he packed his things on out dorm, since I was done all I did was observed him, he was just so perfect bending down and stretching his beautiful body, I shook my head as I felt my cheeks warm out, how come I thought of something like that?! This is Delic's influence!

"its quite rude to stare you know" the crimson eyed male glared at me as he continued to pack.

"sorry" I mumbled as he just rolled his eyes scowling. I know that was rude considering we are now lovers but I know Roppi is just being mean in the surface it was what Psyche said.. what was it again? Ah right a Tsundere.. '_don't worry Tsuki-chan, Pi-chan is just being a tsun-tsun but he really loves you!' _ yep that was what he said.

"are you sure about this?" I looked up and saw Roppi gripping a shirt.

"about w-what?"

"I mean.. us together… Tsuki, you know im not stable.. and, I can hurt you as well, so I was wo-"

"no! please lets l-live together" I smiled and went to take his hand and kiss each digit before brushing his raven locks.

"I love you Roppi"

he froze and the pink dust started to leak on his cheeks as he looked down and murmured something under his breath, I raised a brow and looked at him."

"what?"

another mumble.

"uh..wh-what is it a-"

"I love you too"

my smile widened as I heard his response, it was low and barely above a whisper but I heard it and I was more than enough to bring our face close together to kiss that wonderful lips. For now im happy at our situation, I guided him out of his dark world while he bought mine to light, it was just a fair deal and I won't regret any single thing I did for this man, he deserved it and he deserved more, I'll just have to show him the love he didn't felt while he grew up I will make it up to him and im sure he will do the same, without using abusive words I hope.. but well that what made me fall for him, his attitude is also counted, I would really love to paint him every day. One thing for sure in know, we both need each other.

-END-


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